A long overdue update

Just thought about my blog last week, and knew I was due for an update, but wow, it's been February since I last posted something? Oops.

The spring semester at MTSU was really busy — much busier than I anticipated. We were so blessed to have a solid group of freshmen (mainly boys!), and it was such a joy to watch them grow to know and love one another. By the end of the semester, they were hanging out all the time — grabbing wings or BBQ, eating lunch together in the cafeteria, going to Nashville for Predators games, and coming to Bible study. I know all of this is the Lord, and I'm so thankful for how He has brought them together. It was wonderful to be in freshman Bible study with many of them this semester and to hear them asking questions. We went through Tim Keller's "The Reason for God," and they really seemed to enjoy it and get a lot out of it.

Paul preached through Daniel this semester at large group, and we moved our large group time up an hour and a half (from 8:30 to 7 p.m.) — big difference! It was great to have more time to hang out afterwards, and we look forward to doing it again this semester.

We took a great crew to winter conference in February at Fall Creek Falls. Over 500 students from about 15 schools came, and it was a great time of teaching and community. We enjoyed hiking, great seminars and music, and lots of time with each other!

Our group at Fall Creek Falls

Our spring break missions trip was to New York City. We took 12 students (along with the staff of 3), and joined with Wake Forest's RUF. The trip was an incredible blessing. We spent our mornings meeting with leaders from around the city, and got to attend Redeemer Presbyterian (aka Tim Keller's church) as well as City Campus (New York's RUF), where Michael Keller is the campus minister. I loved seeing how RUF works in New York, and loved seeing its diversity. During the afternoons, we worked with a church in an after school tutoring program. We loved being with the kids, and hated to leave at the end of the week! Additionally, we had free time at night, and that meant lots of exploring one of my favorite cities — Rockefeller Plaza, Times Square, Broadway, and food ... lots of food!

Ashley, Aubra, & Matt at Sylvia's for lunch in Harlem before tutoring

Got to revisit Rockefeller Plaza — first time I've been back since 2008!

Loved taking students to Rockefeller Center during a free night!

Right after New York, I drove home for the wedding of one of my dearest friends — I've known Rebekah Davis since we were little through Riveroaks. She moved away in sixth grade, and although we saw each other some in high school, we really got to know each other when we attended Mississippi State together. She married John (met through RUF at State!) at Riveroaks, and I was glad to be part of their wedding! I got to see a lot of friends who I haven't seen in a while, including my sweet roommates:

Aubra, Amy, Rebekah G, and Annalissa at the reception. Love y'all!

John & Rebekah left to ringing cowbells. Hail State!

Some of y'all know I'm a country music fan (as one of the freshman guys commented, "Your car radio is ALWAYS on a country station!"). Stephen and I got to go hear Brad Paisley (and Darius Rucker) in Nashville in February, and it was SO fun! I highly recommend going to see him live. :) 

Waiting for Brad Paisley to start!

In March, I had the privilege of speaking at the Life Choices banquet. I am so thankful for any opportunity to share my testimony, and am SO thankful for the ministry of Life Choices. God was gracious enough to raise $190,000 that night!

Hannah and Gloria were so sweet to come!

That's pretty much the spring semester — got lots to report on for the summer (I know, summer technically just started, but "summer" to me means anything after school ends), so that will be another blog post. Again, thank you for your prayers and support of RUF at MTSU!

One year ago

The 2008-2009 Reflector editorial board. Adam is on the left 

(in maroon and white) sitting on the angel's arm.

It's getting late, and yet I can't sleep. Exactly one year ago today, I was doing almost the exact same thing — unable to sleep and up late, thinking about one person: my friend Adam Kazery.

Exactly one year ago today, I found out that I — no, the world — had lost Adam. I lost much more than a coworker that day — I lost a dear friend who I knew I could count on for anything.

Though it's been a year since he's been gone, not a day goes by that I don't think about him. Last year as I told everyone at work that he was gone, I vividly remembering looking into the teary eyes of my dear friends, thinking, "This is going to change our lives forever." I've lost people in my life before, but Adam was so unexpected. There are still days when I pick up my phone to text him or think about posting a link to his Facebook wall — it's like my brain still hasn't completely realized that he's not here anymore. I'm not kidding when I say that I still think about him every single day — whether it's an Apple product announcement, a photo of a cat doing something stupid, the new Radiohead album, someone's Facebook status written in binary code, a black Nissan truck — not a single day has gone by where I haven't thought about him. I still expect to see him grinning every time I pass a black Nissan truck. I still expect to get random, hilarious text messages from him. I still expect him to know my order at Zaxby's. (My new friends here haven't caught on that I get the exact same thing every time!) Just last week, I was showered with wonderful Valentine's Day gifts, yet all I could think about was wanting one of Adam's silly yellow Post-It note "valentines," which he stuck to the computer monitors at work with a funny message, signed, "Love, Adam."

To say I miss him would be an understatement:
- For a while when I moved to Murfreesboro, I tried to avoid driving down a certain road to avoid the Nissan dealership — which always has a row of shiny black trucks parked right out front for everyone to see. I couldn't stand looking at those black trucks at the stoplight — it reminded me of all the times Adam took me home after a long night at the office. I remember him being appalled that I would walk 15 minutes to apartment late at night; so especially when it was cold, I'd wait until he finished at the office and gladly climb into that truck. We'd always have good conversations during that five minute drive home, whether it was about music, office politics, or what we could do better at work. Adam didn't give rides to just me — he willingly did it for anyone who didn't drive to campus. He was quick to give, and quick to look for ways to help.
- On his last production night before his death, he volunteered to go get Abner's for everyone. We knew it was going to be a late night, and by the time we realized we were all hungry, everything in the student union was closed (or we were sick of it). Adam quickly announced he would drive to Abner's, and we could pay him back later. (The Monday that he appeared "missing," I actually carried around $6 all day in my pocket for him.) Later that night, Adam danced around the newsroom and kept us laughing with his new "fashionable" plastic ring (he got it off a cupcake — read the full story here on April's blog). That night was one of the longest ones of the semester, yet thanks to Adam and Bob's antics all night, it wasn't miserable.
- I heard about the new Radiohead (one of Adam's favorites) album last week, and I got teary — I wouldn't get to see Adam all excited about it. I still haven't even listened to the album yet.
- The littlest things make me miss him. I'd be here for hours if I kept going ...

Last year, Kyle and I were debating over who should get the editor of the year award. I told him it belonged to Adam because of all his hard work, dedication, and responsibility. Adam was never late, never missed a meeting, and always finished his work — then stuck around to help everyone else. It was never in his job description to read over all the pages, yet he did it willingly — and he caught so many mistakes! There is no telling how many times Adam saved us from some really embarrassing typos and misprints. A few weeks after Adam's death, Kyle announced that he and our adviser had decided to rename the award to the Adam C. Kazery Editor of the Year award. I was so honored to receive the award last year, and it was a blessing to have Adam's family present at our banquet. April (who's editor this year) reminded me that five of the editors this year really didn't know Adam — and what a shame. How do you even begin to explain someone like Adam?

So what has a year without Adam taught me? I've learned (and not just known in my head) that life is hard and painful, and we don't always get answers. After a year, I have finally come to terms with the fact that God may not reveal to me why Adam was taken away — and after a year, I'm finally beginning to accept that. God doesn't have to tell me why it happened, and realizing that has slowly begun to give me peace. I've been reminded this year (and not just through Adam) that trusting that all that God does is right and good brings immeasurable peace and joy.

This year has also taught me how blessed I am with family and friends. One of my resolutions this year was to tell the people in my life how much they mean to me. I felt like Adam knew how much me meant to me, but I never really said it enough. I regret that, and I don't want to have that same regret with others.

So Adam, know that I miss you terribly, and I'll still be thinking of you daily. I miss you riding the Bully bike through the office to make us laugh. I miss you making sure we had good music on our computers to keep us smiling throughout the long days and nights. I miss your random text messages filled with those crazy emoticons. I miss talking about Apple products with you. I miss seeing your face and your silly grin when you were up to something mischievous. I miss your random photos. I miss your yellow Post-It note messages. I miss your crazy computer antics — like turning your entire page into Russian just to make me laugh after a long afternoon. I miss you spontaneously yelling out hilarious photo cutlines and headlines. I miss your laughter as you leaned too far back in that treacherous chair of yours. I miss you friend — and I'm not going to forget you.

Note: I blogged about Adam back in June — that post can be found here. April blogged about him as well back in May (click here for that read), and she beat me to blogging about him today right here. You can view Adam's website, as well as some of his photography, at www.adamkazery.com.

Is this normal?

"Is this normal?"

That's the question I've asked myself a lot quite recently — and surprisingly, it's been about the weather here in Murfreesboro. I guess I've been spoiled living in Mississippi for the past four years. I've been unpleasantly shocked at just how cold it's been, as well as how many times it has snowed or iced over here! In Mississippi, if I woke up to a light dusting of snow (because that's pretty much all Starkville ever gets), it was great — school was canceled, even if work wasn't. Here — no sir. Life goes on, which means school goes on, which means I have to get out of my toasty apartment and go walk on campus.

Most of you are probably laughing at me because Tennessee's cold weather is nothing compared to anywhere up north...and yes, I know that...but still, it's been an adjustment this year!

Three of the nice things about the cold weather here: snowball fights, snowmen, and sledding. Here's some photographic evidence of what the RUF crew has been up to this semester:

Charging up the hill for a snowball fight!

Rob & I with our snowman — Rob's from Florida, so it was his first snowman!

Sledding by Fraternity Row — by the way, that's my new roommate — huge answer to prayer!

More updates (including an e-mail update) to come soon — just wanted to post a few pictures!

November/December 2010: The illustrated edition

I apologize for the delay/lack of blog posts. As my co-intern reminded me last week, "You haven't blogged since November!" Whoops — and thanks for reminding me, Rob. :)

One of the many new things for me this year was an RUF parents' brunch. Lots of RUFs do a parents' brunch to introduce parents to what RUF believes and why it exists on campus. It can also be a good time to help fundraise. We had a good turnout for our brunch this year, and had our area coordinator John Stone speak, as well as MTSU's campus minister Paul Boyd. One of our seniors shared about how RUF has impacted her life, and the intern crew also got up to do a Q & A with the parents.

John Stone, our area coordinator, speaking to parents.

I hosted a freshman/new student Christmas party at my one-bedroom apartment — and we had 28 people show up! We enjoyed snacks, did a White Elephant swap, and watched "Elf." It was really great to have so many people show up, and we were encouraged to have people inviting their friends.

Part of our freshman crew before the White Elephant swap.

White Elephant gifts!

A family from Trinity Pres graciously hosted RUF's annual Christmas party. We had a tacky Christmas sweater competition and a bake-off!

Intern Rob with three of our freshman guys 

Interns at the Christmas party in our tacky sweaters — sorry for the blurry picture!

Thank you again for your prayers and support throughout this semester. We are excited about what the Lord has in store for us this semester — please continue to pray for us!

October: The illustrated edition!

I realize it's definitely no longer October (it is actually COLD here!), but I thought I'd give a photographic representation of some of what MTSU RUF did last month!

Over our fall break, we went to St. Louis for a missions trip. Here's the illustrated edition of that story. :)

On Friday, we loaded up a 12-passenger van, and there were 12 of us. We got close!

We met with New City Fellowship (PCA) and played with kids (mainly children of African refugees) in a downtown neighborhood all day Saturday!

On Saturday night, we went out for dinner and walked around. These are all the girls on the trip!

Sunday after church, we visited the arch and the St. Louis Zoo! Taylor & I were freaked out by this Black Mamba.

On Monday, we visited with Covenant Theological Seminary, and attended two classes. Here, Rob and I were getting ready to listen to Jerram Barrs! (And yes, he was awesome.)

We also brought back RWF this year — that stands for RUF Wrestling Federation! We had a guys bracket and girls bracket. Participants had to enter with a wrestler name (some examples: "The Lumberjack," "Rumble Bee," "Fashionably Undead," "Dora the Explorer," and "The Italian") and a costume to go with the name. Participants were assigned to a bracket and "wrestled" each other — first, they did Indian leg wrestling, then they proceeded to the arm wrestling table. In the event of a tie (if one student won the Indian leg wrestling, but the other won the arm wrestling), the final event was thumb wrestling. Sounds crazy, but the event was a hit!

Our campus minister Paul was the referee!

Jerrica and Marie preparing to arm wrestle.

Julian and Aaron thumb wrestling for the guys championship!

Rob with our winners! (We had a girls champ, guys champ, and costume/dance off champ.) One of our students made these great wrestling championship belts!

And there you have it — a good part of our October in photos!

October in a nutshell

Note: I don't normally post my monthly e-mail update to my blog, but I haven't been able to access the RUF database in a while, so I decided to copy this to my blog as well. If you want a once a month e-mail update, just let me know! Sorry for no photos — I promise I'll get some posted soon!

It is hard to believe that it’s already November — I can’t believe I’ve been here for three months. It has been a busy fall semester, and we’ve still got a lot of things ahead of us.

Let me give a quick catch up on some of our events: We’ve continued with weekly large group, and average about 75 students each Tuesday night. It has been so encouraging to see the great group of freshman boys that are coming, as well as the group of juniors and seniors who come faithfully every week. We have freshman/new student Bible study on Psalms every week, and we’ve got about 10 coming to that. It’s a great time of discussion and fellowship, and the group loves to go eat wings and BBQ after Bible study! Last week, we went to Paul and Rachel’s house for dinner, and it was great to have everyone hang out and enjoy a home cooked meal.

Over our fall break, we loaded up a 12-passenger van and headed to St. Louis for a missions trip. We really got to know one another (close quarters in a large van tend to do that!), and had a great mix of students. On Saturday, we visited New City Fellowship (PCA) and learned how they’re ministering to their community, which includes African refugees, Middle Eastern families, women trying to get out of prostitution, and others. We spent our Saturday playing soccer, tag, hide and seek, and other playground activities with about 40 kids, many who are African refugees. It was great to see our students bond with the kids, and none of us wanted to leave! We attended church there, and spent the rest of Sunday seeing the sites in St. Louis, including the zoo and the arch. On Monday, we visited Covenant Theological Seminary, where we got a tour of the campus, learned about the various degrees offered there, and got to sit in on two classes of our choice. (I actually got to hear Jerram Barrs teach!) Several of the students on the trip are thinking about seminary, so it was a blessing to see them excited about possibly attending Covenant.

We also had our eighth annual barn dance on October 22, and it turned out great! We had about 100 people attend, and we partnered with Trinity (the local PCA church). We had several students who don’t attend large group or Bible studies show up, so that was also a huge encouragement.

I attended RUF intern training last week in Atlanta, and was pleasantly surprised at how much it meant to be surrounded by a group that knows exactly what you’re trying to do and how you sometimes feel like you’re failing miserably! It was a great time of teaching, encouragement, and refreshment. The RUF staff does a wonderful job of ministering to its campus staff, and it was great to rejoice over how the Lord is working on campuses across the US.

Other interns echoed how I’ve often felt this semester — frustrated. It has been a learning experience (to say the least) to pursue girls (particularly freshman girls) who often times don’t show up when they promise to come, ignore your calls, aren’t interested in campus ministry, or fill their time with other things. I often find myself wondering if I’m not suitable for this job. The truth is that I’m not adequate and nothing I do will bring them to Bible study, large group, or church — that’s the Lord’s job. My job is to love on them and pursue them, even if they don’t come. I’ve been reminded so often this semester that this must be a small taste of how our Heavenly Father pursues us — most of the time, we’re running away as fast as we can, yet He is faithful and doesn’t give up on us. That is what I have been reminded most while doing this job: I have a Heavenly Father who is in charge, loves me despite my failures, and never stops pursing me!

As we close up this semester, we are looking forward to several events, including the RUF Wrestling Tournament (more on that in the next e-mail or blog post!), parents brunch (a time for parents to learn about RUF and consider supporting MTSU), the Thanksgiving service (a large group where students share what they’re thankful for), more Bible studies and large groups, and the Christmas party! Please pray that the Lord will bless these events and continue to bring more students to know and love Him.

I am so thankful for your prayers and support — I could not do this job without each of you. I will be home in Memphis for Thanksgiving, and I look forward to catching up with many of you then!

I'm really not good at titles

You know, blog titles are just like newspaper headlines — I was never very good at them, but they're super important. Ever thought about that? If you're flipping through a magazine or newspaper (or even scrolling through a site online) and the headline doesn't sound interesting, you probably won't read the story. (Actual statistic on that: Eight out of ten people will read the headlines, but only two out of ten read the story — credit goes to copyblogger.) Having said that, please don't judge me for my terrible blog titles...also, please forgive me for not blogging once a week. Apparently, I need a blog accountability partner — any takers? Anyway...

I'm writing this on a Wednesday morning, and I love Wednesday mornings. It's kind of my "recovery day" since we have RUF large group on Tuesday nights. We had a pretty good turnout for large group (especially for it being midterms week), but not a single freshman girl came last night. Any other week, this would have really bothered me — and hey, let's be honest: it still does bother me, but not like it would have in weeks past — but over the past two weeks, the Lord really reminded me that it's not about numbers. In all actuality, it's not even about getting people to come to RUF. It's about building relationships with these girls, loving on them, listening to them, praying for and with them, and helping them get involved in a church. I'd love to see them involved in RUF, but more importantly, I want to see them growing spiritually and loving Jesus with all their heart.

Having said that, I would love for y'all to pray that more freshman girls would join RUF and would attend freshman Bible study. We have a solid group of freshman guys, and I am very thankful for each one of them. I would just love to have more girls to be with and hang out with — if that's what the Lord wants here at MTSU. At the same time, please pray that I wouldn't find my identity in how many girls come to RUF, because again, it's not about numbers.

It has been such a sweet blessing to be here in Murfreesboro. I am so thankful for the RUF staff, the church, and all the students. They are such an encouragement to me. I'm slowly but surely beginning to get the hang of things here, although I still feel like a "glorified freshman" (that's how I describe myself to a lot of students: I've basically started all over at a new school, not knowing anyone, but I do have a college degree).

It is also great to be 35 minutes away from my sister, who's finishing up her senior year at Belmont University in Nashville. I've been able to go visit for a day or so on several weekends, and it's been fun to hang out at her apartment and go to her soccer games. My sweet parents have been so kind to bring me things from Memphis (like all my winter clothes when it got unexpectedly chilly last week!), and Mom is great about helping me stock my apartment. She found this awesome chair for $5 at an estate sale (and Dad took off all the paint splatters on it) — they rock!

This means I now have three kitchen chairs — hooray!

This week, MTSU RUF has freshman Bible study/dinner on Thursday. Paul teaches on one of the Psalms, and it's a great time of discussion and fellowship. After Bible study, we head to Slick Pig, which is exactly what it sounds like: an awesome BBQ and wings joint. While I'm still a Memphis BBQ girl, their wings are INCREDIBLE. It's pretty hilarious to see the RUF crew walk in every week (usually me plus 5 to 10 guys — occasionally, we have a girl or two!) — no telling how many wings we demolish each week.

Me with the Slick Pig mascot

Please be praying for the staff (Paul, Rob, Heather, and myself) as we head to St. Louis on Friday with seven students for a missions trip. We'll be hanging out with refugees, playing with kids, possibly helping with some ESL ministries, visiting Covenant Theological Seminary, and seeing a few of the sites in St. Louis. I'm really excited about it, and I'm so thankful for each person going. Pray that the Lord will give us traveling mercies (it's about 6-7 hours driving!), servants' hearts, kindness towards each other, and unity. I'll be sure to post some pictures soon!

Thank you again for your prayers and support. It means so much to hear from y'all, and I could not do this without each one of you. I am very thankful for each one of you!