The gift of life

It was January 2007. I was just starting my second semester as a freshman at Mississippi State, and was enrolled in a public speaking class. During one of the first classes, my teacher spoke to us about topic selection, and how to choose a proper topic for your audience. She explained that polarizing issues like abortion, gay marriage, and politics caused disputes, and some of those issues could really be quite personal for some audience members.

She then brought up the topic of organ donation.

"Organ donation?" I remember thinking. "People are opposed to that?"

While I've learned some people are opposed to it, that wasn't the point my teacher was trying to make. She told our class that sometimes certain topics would strike closer to home for audience members; and for her, organ donation was one of those topics.

I don't remember all the details, but long story short, her first child was sick and needed a transplant as the only option for getting better. He didn't get one. If I remember correctly, he wasn't even two years old yet.

That year, when I went home to update my driver's license, I made sure to register as an organ and tissue donor. I had always thought about it, and had even mentioned it to my family, but never made it official. Now, my Tennessee license is signed on the back and I've got a heart stamped on my license photo.

Today, The Commercial Appeal ran a beautiful story by David Waters on how one young man's tragic death resulted in life for five people. While his death is sad, the story is a beautiful picture of redemption — God bringing life and second chances for people close to death. You can read the story about Michael Gilmore here.

If you're not registered as a organ or tissue donor and are not sure how to register, you can visit Donate Life America and select your state for registration information. (Be sure to tell your family members about your plans.) It's easy, and it's quick. As of October 2011, 112,178 people were waiting for an transplant. 1,746 of those are children.

I'm thankful my public speaking teacher shared her story that day. I'm also thankful for people like Michael Gilmore who register their donation wishes and for families like the Gilmores who honor those wishes.

Why I need math: a lesson in my humanity (and humility)

A humorous heading from one of my
study prep books

I don't like math.

This isn't a recent development. In elementary school, I remember sitting down working multiplication problems thinking, "I don't like this." In middle school, I disliked math even more when variables starting showing up — "Why put English letters (something that I like and understand) in with all these numbers (something I don't like)? Why work one long division problem for 10 minutes? Why can't we agree to just use decimals and no fractions, or vis versa?" Once algebra rolled around in eighth grade, I really hated math. Math was the source of many, many tears from eighth grade through twelfth grade — my brain just doesn't think that way!

(As a side note to any of my former math teachers who might be reading — I'm extremely thankful for y'all and your patience. I liked y'all, just not the subject matter — although I did end up kind of liking Algebra I and II in high school!)

I've made it through 12 school years of math classes, four ACTs and one SAT with math sections, (and hours of lunch break tutoring sessions for those ACT sections — thanks, Mrs. Mars!), and two college math courses — and I've lived! I'm not kidding when I say one of my greatest accomplishments is finishing all those math classes.

I'm 24 now, and I'm faced with more math — the GRE (basically a big version of the SAT) for entrance requirements for masters' programs. I took it in July, and I'm taking the new version tomorrow. The whole test is hard, but I'm dreading the math.

In the past two or so months, I've started to realize the root of why I dread math — it reminds me of something terribly painful. It reminds me that I'm human, which means I'm fallen, which means my brain doesn't work properly. It reminds me that even though I might work for hours and hours, understanding may not come. How frustrating.

Perhaps most painfully, it reminds me that I'm not good at something, no matter how hard I work to understand it or compensate for it. I hate admitting that.

Throughout the years of agonizing over math, I've just told myself that math is something the Lord has used in my life to teach me the importance of working hard. That's certainly true. Until algebra in eighth grade, school came very easily for me. Were it not for upper-level math (and science), I probably would have never learned to work and study hard.

But now, I'm starting to see that teaching me to work hard isn't the sole purpose of this thorn in my flesh. When I sit down to work a math problem, and I can't figure it out, it reminds me that I'm human — I'm broken, messed up, and not perfect. And that's really hard for me to admit. I like having it all together. I despise not being able to figure something out or understand it.

I'm a lot like that in life. I like having it all together. I really hate it when I can't figure something out — whether it's a router, map, computer, whatever. I'm a fixer — if I see something, I want to figure it out and fix it. I'm the same way when I meet with my students — I want to have all the answers, and I hate having to say, "I don't know" or "Let me think about it." Once I've put my mind to it, I don't like having to ask someone else to help me figure it out. Why? — because it means admitting weakness.

Often times, I've found that my cry to the Lord is a simple, "Lord, I just want to understand [insert life problem here — algebra, a relationship, pain, etc.]."

And unlike a true math problem, we don't always get answers in life. We can't always solve the problem. We can't plug the number into the equation and make it work.

Throughout these past few weeks of studying, I've tried to remind myself of the Bible characters who told God, "I don't get it, but OK." I've tried to admit and take my inadequacies to the Lord. As I find myself getting frustrated with a geometry problem, I take a second to mull over a Bible verse or two (usually one about man's best efforts being futile, but God being sovereign over all things).

I still really dislike math, but I'm thankful the Lord is using it again in my life to make me run to Him. Is it painful? You bet. But pain isn't necessarily a bad thing — it just reminds me of my humanity. I don't have to get it all figured out, and honestly, I won't ever get it all figured out. And guess what — that's OK. Jesus never demands that I get it all figured out — He's figured it out for me, and He's done it all perfectly, with no mistakes.

Jury duty

Several weeks ago, yours truly got summoned for Memphis jury duty.

I know what you're thinking: "No big deal! You live in Atlanta now."

Yes ... however, I haven't changed my residency. When I first moved, I didn't know if I'd want to stay in Georgia for a while, and I was still thinking about grad school in Tennessee. Having lived in Georgia for four months now, I know that I like it, but I'm still not sure if I should try to change my residency. It's just easier to keep it in Tennessee, right?  — until you get called for jury duty.

I got my summons several weeks ago and spent about a week and a half calling the office to try to see if I'd be exempt. I wasn't able to get hold of anyone, so I drove 6.5 hours on Thursday to get home to Memphis. (To clarify; I'm OK with serving, and I'm not trying to get out of it. I just wanted to see if I could sign up for a slot without coming home three days early, or if I was somehow exempt because I live out of state.) I'm just glad it was close to Thanksgiving, and I'm thankful my boss was understanding about me having to come home this early.

Reporting for duty was ... an experience. It should have taken me about 35 minutes to get downtown from my house; it took me an hour and 15 minutes. Thankfully, I wasn't late, but I was certainly frazzled.

There are some interesting characters in my hometown — I already knew that. When I entered the room of 5,000 potential jurors, I headed to the back and seated myself. Little did I know I'd be close to a woman who yelled at the judge to "Shut up!" when he greeted us at 9:15 with a cheery "Good morning!" I also didn't know I'd be sitting close to a man who was telling everyone that he couldn't serve because he didn't have a driver's license "due to a run-in with the law," but "they're still gonna make me serve! My buddy served last year on a case, and one of the other jurors was a murderer!" Oh boy.

I made it through jury selection unscathed, and even got my second preferred time slot. Apparently, Shelby County is the only place that allows jurors to select the week that they serve — whew! I'm very thankful for that.

I'm sure I'll have some great stories/meet some great characters when I report back in January for my week. Should be interesting.

A cooking post: chocolate chip pound cake (oh yes!)

As more of my friends graduate and/or get married, I'm noticing more and more food/cooking blogs popping up everywhere — either my friends are posting links on Facebook, saving them on Pinterest (my latest weakness — add me!), or blogging about what they've cooked lately. 

I swore up and down that I wouldn't turn my blog into that — and I'm not, at least not yet. (No offense to my friends — I do like reading your cooking adventures.) However, I promised several girls that I'd post this recipe, so here's one cooking post ... hope you enjoy. 

Anyone who knows me (or has ever eaten with me) knows that I have a huge weakness for sweets, especially the really high-carb ones. (Isn't that always how it goes? Ugh.) Several years ago, my mom started making this wonderful chocolate chip pound cake, and now it's definitely one of my top three favorite desserts. She usually makes it for my birthday (that or a cheesecake, which is another top three fav). Since I wasn't home for my birthday this year, I asked her for the recipe. (And sorry I can't cite it, but it's probably from Southern Living.) 

It really is pretty easy, and it's SO delicious. I decided to take it with me to girls Bible study — and we (ten or so girls) ate the WHOLE THING in 30 minutes.

Here's the "equipment" you'll need:

Non-stick bundt pan (bought mine at Walmart, and it works great! make sure it's a 12 cup pan)

Hand mixer (you could probably do without it, but it'd be a pain; again, grab a cheap one from Walmart)

Two mixing bowls 

Measuring cups & measuring spoons

The cute apron isn't necessary equipment — but oh so recommended. 

I mean, who doesn't like Anthropologie's adorable aprons? 

Ingredients:

1 cup butter, softened (make sure it's softened, or it will be a pain!)

1 cup sugar

1 cup light brown sugar

1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla

3 eggs

2 1/2 cups flour

2 teaspoons baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt (optional: I omitted it because we were out, & it turned out just fine)

1 cup milk (I used lactose-free milk because that's what I drink, but you can use whatever!)

1 1/2 cups mini chocolate chips (or ...  the whole bag. and of course I used the whole bag — did you need to ask?)

Instructions:

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees (our oven cooks too hot, so I adjusted it to 325). Grease your bundt pan, and be sure to grease it well, especially around the middle core/tube area. I recommend using a spray with flour (or just dust the pan with flour after you grease it). 

Ready to go!

Cream the butter, sugars, and vanilla. Beat them a while until the mixture is fluffy. 

Add the eggs one at a time and beat the mixture each time you add an egg.

Combine the flour, baking powder, and salt in another bowl. Add this mixture to the butter/sugars/vanilla mixture alternately with the milk. (So take part of the flour/baking powder/salt mixture and add it, then beat. Then add some of the milk, and beat. Then add more of the flour/baking powder/salt mixture, and beat. Then add more milk ... you get the idea.) Keep it up until the milk and flour/baking powder/salt have been completely beaten into the butter/sugar/vanilla mixture.

It should look smooth like this.

Now for the great part — stir in the mini chocolate chips. Be sure to sneak a few for a taste test (duh).

Don't you love the smell of chocolate?

Pour the mixture into your greased and floured bundt pan. Bake at 350 degrees (again, feel free to adjust if your oven cooks hot) for 60-70 minutes. You may need a little more time, but mine was definitely done at 60 minutes. Do the traditional "stick a toothpick in it" test. Let it sit in the pan for 10 minutes, then flip it onto a large plate. You can put it a cake holder, or you can keep the bundt pan covering it. My mom likes to keep the bundt pan covering it to help seal in the moisture — I definitely recommend that, especially if you're going to be serving it over a number of days. It helps keep it from getting too dry.

Don't panic if it looks a little brown.

Now for the best part — serve it up to your friends! Be sure to take it somewhere so you don't end up eating the whole thing on your own. :)

Yum.

Random thoughts on Kennesaw

Several of you have asked what I like about Kennesaw, how it's different, what's surprised me, etc. Here's my short list of things I've discovered/done/though in my first 40 or so days here:

1. I'm slowly making my way around the touristy-stuff in Atlanta. I already knew I loved big cities, but I really do like the Atlanta area. Last weekend, Kate (my roommate) had a friend in town, so I joined them in Atlanta at the World of Coke. It was fun to learn the history of Coke, see all the artworks and marketing campaigns, taste Coke products from around the world, etc. For dinner, we hit up Gladys Knight's Chicken & Waffles restaurant. Delicious.

Artwork from the World of Coke

2. Parking decks are one of the best inventions/necessities for a college campus. Kennesaw has four of them. Honestly, I have no idea why State and MTSU don't have them (besides the whole money thing, and no one wants to donate a million dollars to get their name on a parking garage). If I'm ever wealthy, I'm donating money to State for a parking garage. Sorry they're not pretty, but they're so useful!

3. Having said that about parking decks, I have absolutely no reason to complain about parking at any other school ever again. Parking at Kennesaw is INSANE. I've been very fortunate to be able to park in visitor parking (and while it's a hike, I'm guaranteed a spot). Students and faculty members = not so much. I've never seen such a crazy parking situation. Seriously, I am never complaining about university parking again.

4. I have officially tried Zumba class once (and going again this evening), and like I anticipated, I am no pro. I was honestly a little self-concious about going, but it was a good workout, and a lot of fun — a great chance to laugh and burn calories with lots of girls! My lack of dance skills is just sad, though ... if I have daughters, they are ALL doing dance classes for a VERY long time so they don't inherit their mother's abysmal dance moves. Clearly, three or four years of ballet wasn't enough for me.

5. Kennesaw is a big-time commuter school. Big time — 85% of students commute (this means they don't live on campus). While some "commute" from the apartment complex a mile away, others commute from over an hour away. Crazy. This makes community and getting our group together a challenge.

6. Campus is dead here on Fridays. Most students don't have Friday classes, but if they do have one, it's usually because they registered late or got stuck with a late orientation. I'm kind of jealous that most of the freshmen I know don't have Friday classes. I always had a Friday class — except for first semester of senior year.

7. Kennesaw offers Saturday classes. And yes, some of the students I know have to take Saturday classes because it's all that was open. Sad day.

8. There is a Waffle House that's practically on campus. If that isn't genius, I don't know what is. There's also a Wendy's across the street, and a Subway, Jimmy John's, and Mellow Mushroom within comfortable walking distance. There's a ton of places within a mile or so of campus — which makes getting off campus for a one-on-one very easy (who doesn't love escaping the cafeteria for lunch?).

Our Waffle House looks a lot like this one. Thanks, Google.

9. Kennesaw's "cafeteria" is like a food court. You swipe your card (they only take KSU IDs), and that gets you whatever food you want while you're inside. There's no take-out, and once you leave, you have to swipe to get back inside. I've been impressed with their gluten and dairy-free ice cream, as well as several other gluten-free products. You can even request gluten-free pizza at the Italian place. It's good to see a university working on special food needs and allergies — way to go, Kennesaw.

10. Student groups are allowed to chalk around campus. Chalking was considered "vandalism" at Mississippi State (seriously), and it wasn't allowed at MTSU. I still slow down to read almost everything chalked around the sidewalks at Kennesaw — I'm not used to seeing it.

11. Georgia has lots of divided highways — they're everywhere. This makes the "Georgia u-turn" (as my roommate calls it) an everyday occurrence.

12. Traffic here is .... interesting. Last year, I lived less than a mile from campus, so it took me maybe five minutes from my doorstep to parking on campus. In Kennesaw, I'm 5.2 miles from campus. On a good day, it takes me 15 minutes to get to campus and park. On a bad day, it takes 45 minutes — seriously. I learned this the hard way my first week ... thankfully, my campus minister was very gracious about me being late!

13. I'm slowly learning more about the the Braves. I went to my first Braves game last month, and really liked it. Hopefully they can pull it together in these last few games...

View from my first Braves game — that's Chipper on the board.

14. Kate and I live right by a Walmart. I've loved being able to walk to get my groceries. (Really, I do.) We'll see how long I can keep that up, especially once it gets cold. It's also weird to walk in to Walmart (or another grocery store) and see a whole wine aisle. After living in Tennessee my whole life and doing college in Mississippi, I'm not used to that (grocery stores can't stock wine in TN and MS).

15. We also live right by a Starbucks. Thankfully, I don't have a severe caffeine addiction (otherwise known as RUF intern syndrome, since half of job involves drinking coffee and the other half involves staying out late with students...kidding...but it is part of the job!). If I did have a caffeine addiction, living within 100 yards of Starbucks could be a major problem. None of the baristas know my name (yet), so that's a good sign, right?

16. There is a lot to do around here, and they have almost everything within 20 minutes of driving...however, I have found that there's no Pei Wei or Backyard Burger close. (I just started thinking about restaurants and fast food places that I hadn't seen yet, then Googled them. I found everything except those two.)

17. Recycling here is so easy, and I love that. Our apartment complex does recycling (and we live very close to the bins, so yay for convenience), and campus has bins in every major area. I grew up assuming that it was easy and convenient to recycle everywhere — then I moved to Mississippi State (and then Murfreesboro) and discovered otherwise.

It's easy being green!

18. Everyone here pretty much cheers for Georgia (Bulldogs) or Georgia Tech (Yellow Jackets). (Kennesaw doesn't have a football team, but they're getting one in 2014.) The rivalry is similar to Ole Miss/Mississippi State. Several weeks ago, I asked the students which team I needed to cheer for, and I listened to their arguments. Normally I cheer for the SEC, but I'm a little uncomfortable cheering for both sets of SEC Bulldogs...so come November 26 (when they play Georgia), I'm cheering for Tech!

19. I really, really like it here. And you should come visit!

"How do we love them?"

This is a question I've found myself discussing with several students over the past two weeks. Last week, the question came up twice in two separate one on ones with girls, both of whom were asking the following:
"How do I love the gay people that I work with?"
"How can we be friends when we don't believe the same things?"
"I know I'm supposed to love them, but I have such a hard time knowing how to show them love without thinking that I'm disowning what the Bible says about this."
"How do I convince them that we can be friends, but I can't agree with their lifestyle?"
"How do we love them?"

Hard stuff, right? I definitely don't have all the answers, but the Lord has graciously allowed me to enter into good dialogue with these girls who are thinking about tough issues.

Today, I entered into that conversation again today, but from a slightly different angle. For those of you who haven't been on a public university campus in a while, it's very common for universities (especially the larger ones) to have "crazy preachers" or "screaming preachers" come to campus for a day (or a week). They hold large signs, usually yell in a loud voice, and stir up lots of controversy on campus.

Regardless of your personal views on evangelism and what is or isn't effective, most of the time, these preachers aren't preaching the true gospel. They'll point at girls around campus and yell out, "Whore! You wear shorts!" (Seriously, I'm not making this up! I got called out by one during my sophomore year at Mississippi State — yes, I was wearing shorts and an RUF t-shirt.) Needless to say, that's not particularly effective, and usually angers the crowd. Most universities have the preachers guarded by a policeman or two, and they have to stand behind a line of police tape so that students can't touch or hit them.

(For those of you protesting and wondering how this is legal, just remember — free speech!)

Anyway, today the screaming preachers are here at Kennesaw. I took a few photos to show the crowd and some of the signs. Several students made opposing signs and stood silently in the crowd, or walked around. Others waved their Bibles and entered into dialogue with these men, who argue that they haven't sinned. The photos don't show this well, but there were about 100 students crowded around the preachers this afternoon:

These are the signs from the preachers.

The yellow and green signs are from Kennesaw students.

Today, I found myself dialoguing with Christian students:

"They make us look bad. This isn't the true gospel."

"Why do they come and yell and scream? Don't they know it isn't effective?"

"They're wrong, but how do we love them and show them Jesus anyway? And how do we show this crowd that we love them?"

Whew. Tough stuff, but good conversations. As much as I dislike the screaming preachers, I have to be thankful for the opportunities they create — not just for students to ask questions, but for me to consider how I love others. Do I really believe Jesus is big enough and great enough for everyone? Do I really believe that because He's shown such love and compassion to me, I'm to show that to others? What does that look like?

Welcome to Georgia!

So … I now live and work in Kennesaw, Georgia!

Most of you already knew this via my mailed newsletter, but I figured it was time to blog about it! (If you didn’t get a newsletter, please send me your address and I’ll add you to my mailing list.)

Effective two weeks ago, I became the RUF intern at Kennesaw State University (close to Atlanta). I transferred from Middle Tennessee State University and will finish the second year of my internship here at Kennesaw. I was approached about the need for a female intern at KSU and offered a transfer. After praying about it, I really felt like the Lord was calling me to KSU.

My last year at MTSU was challenging, but I learned so much about the Lord and His faithfulness. I’m thankful for how He has worked in my heart over the past year, and I’m incredibly grateful for how He used my family and friends to support me.

MTSU’s RUF is healthy and is continuing this year — that wasn’t why I transferred. I’m thankful for Paul and his family, the MTSU students, and the church back in Murfreesboro. I’m thankful for the time I spent with them — they have taught me much!

As of today, I’ve been in Kennesaw for two whole weeks! I’m so excited to be here. It has been a whirlwind of change and new things: new place, new city, new university, new students, new church, new CM (campus minister) and his family, new roommate, new apartment, new traffic; EVERYTHING is new! At times, I’ve found myself a bit overwhelmed by simply not knowing anything, but I’m learning, and the Lord is teaching me to rely on Him instead of the familiar and the comfortable.

I’m incredibly thankful for Chris and Jen (the KSU campus minister and his wife). They have taken me in and have been so kind and welcoming. Their lives have been pretty crazy this month, as they just had their first baby on August 3, and unexpectedly got an intern that same week! Sweet Phoebe is doing great, but do pray for the Bowens as they adjust to life with a little one.

In the past two weeks, Chris and I have been on campus getting to know students and getting the word out about RUF. Chris has led me around campus and has been so very patient with me as I try to take in everything. We spent Wednesday and Thursday of last week passing out freezer pops and handing out candy and RUF cups, as well as flyers about RUF. We met a lot of students, and I was really encouraged by how many of them stopped by again for our cookout on Monday. I’ve spent this week meeting with girls on campus, and am excited to be meeting girls who are active in RUF as well as girls who are looking to join the RUF community. Please be praying for diligence and perseverance as I work on campus, especially with the semester just now beginning. Pray that I’ll be bold with the gospel, and that I’ll be open and honest with students.

Tonight, we’ve got a group headed to watch the Kennesaw Lady Owls soccer team take on College of Charleston! (Kennesaw doesn’t have a football team — yet. Supposedly they’re getting one in 2014.) Our first large group will be this coming Tuesday, so please pray that the Lord will bring students, and that He will use Chris to preach His Word diligently. Our small groups will be starting up shortly, so pray that the Lord will raise up students to come, as well as bless those who will be teaching.

If you’re interested in looking up Kennesaw, you can check out our RUF site here. Again, thanks for all your prayers and support — stay tuned for updates (with more photos, once I get my Internet at the apartment working!). 

Attended my first Braves game with 23 students last Friday!