"My grace is sufficient for you..."

"To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (emphasis added) Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 

- II Corinthians 12:7-10

These past few weeks have probably been the busiest weeks of my life. I have never experienced such a heavy workload with courses, meetings, papers, sickness, assignments, articles, and other matters...nor have I gone this long on so little sleep! (I'm averaging a bedtime around 2:30 and getting up around 7:45, and no, I don't recommend it!) My time with the Lord has greatly suffered (especially my morning quiet times), but I have found that in this time of utter chaos, I'm longing to spend time with the Lord. While my time in the Word is lacking (which I'm working on), I'm spending time in prayer...why? because I see that I need Him. I know that I cannot make it through a day, much less a week or a month, without crying out to my Heavenly Father. It is in times of chaos, confusion, and trouble that I turn to God (although it should be at all times). Despite how hard these past few weeks have been (and will continue to be), I'm so thankful that God is using all of this to draw me to Himself and call me to trust on Him for my strength.

As I made my to-do list tonight, I was immediatly overwhelmed and thought, "How in the world am I going to finish everything?" The passage from II Corinthians came to my mind. While Paul's speaking about a thorn in the flesh, perhaps chaos and business is my thorn right now. God has called me to be faithful, to work hard, and not to back down from what He has called me to do (and as I keep reminding myself, right now, He's called me to be a student!). No matter how I overwhelmed or inadequate I feel, I KNOW that He is there sustaining me and guiding my footsteps. 

It seems that most of my friends are in the middle of chaos, confusion, pain, or just overall crazy/busy semesters. Let II Corinthians 12:7-10 be an encouragement to us and a reminder to rest in Him and not what we can do. His power is made perfect in our weaknesses and He has promised to never leave us nor forsake us! (Deut. 31:8)

Am I really reaching out to others?

I'm part of RUF (Reformed University Fellowship) here at MSU. It's a campus ministry that was started by the PCA (Presbyterian Church in America) and I love it dearly. I'm on the core group (a sort of leadership/feedback/accountability team) for it and we meet once a week to discuss the ministry, plan events, give feedback on how things are going, have a Bible study, pray for RUF and each other, along with other things.

One of our reoccuring prayer requests is that we would reach out to our school community and that God would bring more students into the ministry. During the core group meeting on Monday, our campus minister took this request a step further. He asked each of us to think of four or five students, pray for those students, and ask those students to attend RUF. He said if this was difficult for us to do, it was due to two things: one, we don't really like RUF enough to ask people to come with us; or two, we don't have any friends outside of RUF.

I was struck by how long it took me to think of four or five names. (Granted, probably 90 percent of my friends are through RUF, but I still have many friends---both Christians and non-Christians---that are not involved in a campus ministry.) I would think of someone and then immediately write them off by saying, "They're not interested in Christianity" or "I don't know them well enough" or "They've got another meeting on Thursday nights" or "I'm not sure what they'll think of me when I ask"...the list goes on.

Then it hit me---God sent His only Son to die for the sins of His people so that we might be saved, thus enabled to have communion and fellowship with Him and have everlasting life through His atoning sacrifice. God sent His only Son to die for me and to save me. Don't I want others to have that salvation? Shouldn't I be telling everyone I meet about that salvation? Am I really so concerned about what people will think of me that I'm unwilling to ask them to a campus ministry when I should be concerned about their salvation? This is not about me; this is about what God has done. This is a matter of life or death---without salvation, these people are going to perish. Do I care so much about my appearance to others that I don't care about asking people to a ministry that God could use to bring them salvation?

I also need to be concerned about those of my friends that are Christians but aren't plugged into a church and/or a campus ministry (a side note: I recommend both! RUF isn't a substitute for church!). God commands us in the Bible to be in close fellowship with fellow believers and to spend time studying the Word, praying with and for one another, and teaching and encouraging one another. That's not something you can do all by yourself; you need a community where the Bible is studied and preached, where confession of sin occurs, where prayer occurs, where mercy ministries are practiced, where sacraments are observed (church), and where believers can lift one another up and challenge one another in the Lord.

One of my greatest desires for RUF is that it would expand and truly reach out to those who are lost, hurting, and searching. If that really is my desire, my list should have been filled instantly after Nathan asked his question. I should have pulled out my phone immediately after core group to call friends, talking to classmates in between classes, and visiting with my neighbors in the dorm, keeping the issue of their salvation close in mind. 

So, here's my list. I've changed the names so that no one will recognize anyone but I've posted it here to publically remind me of this goal. It isn't complete, but it's a start. This is not a judgment list; this is what each of these individuals has either told me or what I have gathered from knowing them:

1. Katie (put-off with the churches and ministries)

2. Cam (simply needs Jesus in his life and is willing to come when someone asks him)

3. Mary (needs godly friends in her life)

4. Vicky (foreign student who says religion is not important or relevant in her country; again, needs Jesus!)

5. Laney (needs to be plugged in to a Christian community, specifically one that provides Biblical teaching, not just Christian friends)

6. Megan (desires to be consistent with one campus ministry and wants/needs to be involved)

7. Terri (foreign student who has already gone through some hard things this semester and is searching)

8. John (needs to get reconnected in a Christian community and desparately needs godly friends to challenge him to stay faithful)

When will Roe vs. Wade be overturned? (and other related questions for God)

Today---a wet, cold, and overall dreary day here at MSU---marks the 35th anniversary of Roe vs. Wade. (I feel that the horrible weather here is appropriate considering the day's anniversary.) I was encouraged (sort of) to see some articles about it this morning on some news websites, but mostly discouraged once I began to read them. It's discouraging to see that so many people don't stop to think about the issue and flat out deny the fact that human life begins in the womb.

Roe vs. Wade is a very personal issue for me because I am adopted. While my birthmom has told me that she never considered abortion, it really is always an option, whether one considers it or not. It shouldn't be an option. It shouldn't be a choice. As the somewhat-cliche' bumper sticker reads, "It's a child, not a choice."

I wish I could better express how strongly I feel about being pro-life. I have struggled for years to express what it means to me and I'm convinced that I'll never get it all right. If it doesn't affect you like it does me, I just may not be able to put it into words so that you can understand.

I spoke at my church this past Sunday because it was Sanctity of Life Sunday. I've included my transcript below just because some people ask me to tell my story and simply because I want as many people as possible to read my story. Maybe it will make someone think.

This subject matter moves me to tears (and I am not one to cry). As I sat at the Memphis-area Walk for Life on Sunday (these walks are held across the nation---they include a program with a speaker and then a walk to a local abortion clinic/Planned Parenthood clinic with singing and prayer), I couldn't look at the women who carried roses in memorial of their aborted children. I couldn't open my mouth to sing "God Bless America" as the crowd filed out of the church and onto the street. I certainly couldn't hold back my tears (and even now as I type, my tears are falling once again!) How in the world was I supposed to be singing and asking God to bless America after all this nation has done against him, especially the abortions? Why should I ask him to bless our nation? Is she the land that I love? If so, how can I love a land that aborted 1.2 million babies in 2005? (It is hard to get an exact number, but somewhere between 40-50 million babies have been aborted since Roe vs. Wade in 1973.)

I was so disturbed Sunday that I told my parents I couldn't go to the walk portion of the program. We drove home in almost silence. When my mom asked me what made me so sad, I broke into tears again and wrongly said, "I don't know." I do know. I was upset over the millions of lives lost in a horrific, painful, and dehumanizing manner. I was angry with God for allowing it to continue. I was in disbelief over the doctors and nurses who perform these abortions. I was frightened by the fact that "it could have been me." I was hurting for the women carrying red roses, symbolizing a child they had aborted. I was in disbelief at the denial of our culture and our nation over these issues. I was mourning for the children who were never given a chance at life. I was saddened for the mothers who have lost and those who will lose their children to abortion without truly understanding what they have done/are doing/will do. And I was deeply saddened for those couples who long for just one child. There are so many couples who yearn for a child of their own and yet there are so many abortions each year. It's truly awful.

Nevertheless, God hasn't called me to live in despair and He hasn't called me to stay bottled up and be angry with the U.S. He's called me to reach out into the darkness and gently but boldly spread the truth. Do I know when Roe vs. Wade will be overturned? No, but my God does. All I have to rest in is that He is always faithful and has a purpose in all things, no matter how horrible the situation may seem. I have absolutely no idea why He would allow something as horrendous as abortion to continue, but I know that He has a plan for EVERYTHING and it is far greater than I could ever comprehend.

Here is Sunday's transcript. If anyone wants to know anything else, please just ask. I usually share a lot more of the details than this but decided not to do so in front of my whole church and on the Internet:

This morning, I would like to share with y’all a very brief glimpse into my background and hopefully encourage each of you to understand the value of each and every human life.

First, I would like to being with “my story.” I like to say that I when I tell “my story”, it’s not really “my story”; rather, it is God’s story---a story of His sovereign providence, unfathomable mercy, and unfailing love.

LC (abbreviated for privacy reasons), a local crisis pregnancy center, had just opened its doors not long before I was born. I was born in Memphis on October 22nd and went home November 19th as LC’s first official adoption.

I have always been taught that God works through all circumstances and that nothing happens by accident. As I look at my life today, I know that is true. I have grown up in a strong Christian home with parents and siblings who know and love Jesus Christ and challenge me to know and love Him alone. I am part of this church where I am surrounded by families who seek to serve and glorify the Lord in all aspects of life. I am now a sophomore at Mississippi State University where I am blessed to have not only an incredible RUF ministry and a solid church but also godly friends walking alongside me. I know that God has placed me exactly where He wants me with the family, church, and friends that He has planned for me. After 20 years of life, I can reflect on God’s words to Jeremiah in Jeremiah 29:11, where it says: “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” He has been so good to me!

My adoption has always been a platform for sharing the gospel because my physical adoption provides an easy lead into sharing about my spiritual adoption. In my physical adoption, my parents took me, someone who was not “like” them and wasn’t their “natural” child, into their home to be part of their family.

This is so much greater in a spiritual adoption! I can’t be holy, perfect, and righteous like God and His Son, Jesus, but yet God brought me into His family to become more like Him. My Heavenly Father sent His own natural Son to die on a cross for my sins so that I might become one of God’s adopted children. I am not a rejected stepchild in God’s family---I am one of His own, for He has called me and brought me into His family.

Some of you may be thinking, “Well, this is all a good and sweet story but I don’t really see how it relates to me.” It really does relate to you. If you belong to God, if you are one of His children, then you have been adopted into His family. As Christians, trusting and believing in what God has done for us, God has called each of us to bear witness to the world. He has called each of us to different vocations and has placed us in different locations in various walks of life for His purpose, but no matter where we are, He has called us to be salt and light in a world that so desperately needs to hear the truth. He has called us to show compassion to the hurting and to minister to those around us. He has called us to pray for the salvation of others and to be a hope in a broken world.

He has also called each of us to stand up boldly for what is right. In a world where society tells us that right and wrong is whatever you want to make them, this is a difficult task, but it is what our Father has called us to do. He doesn’t promise us that it will be easy and He doesn’t promise us that everyone will agree with us. In fact, the Bible tells us repeatedly that in standing for what is right, we will encounter much opposition.

Being pro-life certainly isn’t the popular view in our culture today. This past semester, I discovered how unpopular the idea is when I was one of 2 students in a class of 60 who stated that I opposed abortion in all circumstances. While there have been several significant changes in the last few years, including bans on certain kinds of abortions, we are far from ridding our country of abortion and we are far from changing the minds of most of the society.

I know that it can be hard to stand up for a cause that so many people see as vain and I know that it is hard to be criticized for your beliefs. But far more importantly, I know that God has called each of us to stand up and speak for those who cannot speak for themselves. I know that He has called each of us to remember what is right despite what society tells us to do. He hasn’t called us to follow crowd along the popular road; He’s called us to fight the good fight and to run the race down the straight and narrow path.

While this may sound discouraging to some of you, please know that it is not. God has promised us that our struggle is not in vain and reminds us that our hope is in Him. We may not be able to see it now, but He will complete the work that He has called us to do. He is always faithful to keep His promises and as believers, we know that He has a plan in all circumstances. As David said in Psalm 16:5-6, He holds our lots and has placed us in pleasant places with the beautiful inheritance of being part of His family. Let us not grow weary of standing up for what is right; rather, let us go forth eagerly and boldly proclaiming His truth in all aspects of life.

I wish I didn't need my cell phone

Once again, the lovely state of Mississippi (or at least the lovely campus of Mississippi State University and the surrounding areas) was struck with severe weather today...tornadoes, wind, and lots of rain! I feel like this is becoming a normal occurrence here at school. It doesn't even bother me anymore when we get the tornado watch warnings posted on our residence hall doors or when I get the nice "Maroon Alert" text messages warning me about the oncoming weather. I used to be really afraid of bad weather because my family got stuck in a tornado years ago in Memphis (we could see the funnel cloud behind us and the wind was rocking our tiny little Camry with all five of us inside it). I'm still not very comfortable driving in conditions like that, but I guess I'm getting used to storms since they are more common here. It also takes scaredy-cat/cautious me a long time to forget and get over scary things...still need to work on not being fearful!