Oh boy, it's time for an update

Friends, it has been far too long since I've updated. Wow. I had no idea it had been September since I had last written down a few of my thoughts. That alone should show how busy I've been this semester!

Where to begin... :)

Early October was Fall Break, and I got to spend it on the Gulf Coast in Bay St. Louis, Mississippi, working for Lagniappe Presbyterian Church. A group from MSU's RUF went down for a few days and we had a great time building, sheetrocking, lifting walls, building relationships, and exploring New Orleans! Here's our goofy group picture:



In mid-October, I became copy editor at The Reflector. Basically, this means I scour all the pages of the newspaper multiple times before it is printed to find errors; in other words, when there are mistakes printed, it's sometimes my fault. It's teaching me humility (because who likes having their mistakes pointed out for over 12,000 readers to see?) and patience with the other editors. (And oh yeah, since copy editor reads the whole paper, if we print anything libelous or have a lawsuit against us, I'm automatically involved. Yikes.) Prior to this, I had just been a news writer and photographer, so it's been quite an adjustment. I'm in the office ALL THE TIME and am never home for dinner, except on weekends. I really do like it, but it has been a challenge and a huge time consumer. The pay increase has been a God-send and I'm thankful for more time to be salt and light in the newsroom, even though it's difficult. I am sorely outnumbered in the newsroom on multiple levels, one being that I am the only girl among eight guys in the newsroom! (The editor in chief is also a girl, but she has her own office just down the hall from the chaos of the newsroom.)

I also turned 21 mid-October and survived. ;) I had a great time out with friends for dinner (and yes, a first drink) and then my incredible roommates had a ton of people over for cake and ice cream at our apartment, plus they decorated. This roomie made me a crown:



Other than that, things have just stayed constantly busy. School work consumes me (as usual), but I like most of it. I've recently discovered my passion for law (specifically media law) and am looking into the legal field since the journalism market is currently frozen (no hiring whatsoever). I know I don't want to be a lawyer, but I'm looking into the paralegal and legal secretary fields.

I think that's more than enough for now. You know, each semester, I pledge to make better use of my time, stay in touch with family and friends from home, and make some time to rest and chill. I think that last part has happened several times this semester, but the other two areas, eh, not so much. I look forward to being home for the Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks to catch up with everyone (and I guess I'm looking forward to a fresh semester so I can make yet another vow to use my time more wisely!). Please keep those blogs and pictures coming - while I don't always make time to write, I do make time to read. :)

Just got back from the presidential debate

All hell broke loose today in the newsroom with news that one, our current interim president and the head of IHL are currently under investigation; two, there was an emergency meeting regarding the hiring of our new university president; and three, IHL still says we will have a president announced by November. It was a MAD HOUSE...two reporters and two editors working online, on the phones, pulling up all that we could find. It's days like that when I realize how much I love the journalism industry.

As I worked calling several Mississippi agencies, my sister called. I took a five minute break to catch up with her, then received a beep in from a Gulf Coast number. Fortunately, I switched over to take the call. It was someone from the public relations department at the University of Mississippi (more commonly known as Ole Miss down here) calling to see how many reporters and photographers we were bringing to the debate tonight.

"I was under the impression that we couldn't get on campus tonight," I said.

"Oh no, you're welcome to come! No press passes left or tickets to the actual debate, but you're free to hang out in any of the common areas on campus - we're showing it in the Grove."

"Great! Thank you so much!" Click, close phone, run back into the newsroom. "WHO'S FREE TO GO TO OXFORD TONIGHT?!"

"WHAT!? WE CAN GO?"

"YES!"

Okay, I realize that was a little dramatic, but we were just so excited to get to be there. Three of us got to go - a fellow reporter and the photography editor. We had a good ride down there and the weather was incredible. Kudos to Ole Miss for a job well done - very well organized, friendly volunteers/workers, clean facilities, and decent parking. Not to mention excellent idea to broadcast the debate in the Grove on two big screens to enable thousands to stay on campus, even if they couldn't make it inside to the actual debate.

I'm in the process of writing a story about the debate - it'll be interesting. Still haven't figured out exactly how I feel about the debate - were questions really answered, who has solid ideas, where in the world are we going to come up with something to get the country out of this economic crisis?

Okay, enough researching, reading, Twittering, and typing. It's been a very long day and I'm headed to bed...FINALLY.

Links to articles on Palin and Obama

Got up early this morning to get some interview questions written for an interview that I have in less than an hour...need to go find some dressy clothes that I can be comfortable in all day on campus!

Found these two articles via Drudge Report while eating breakfast and thought I would share:

The first is a three page article from the International Herald Tribune about Sarah Palin and her Downs Syndrome infant Trig. Really well written; shows her struggle with everyone, examines the rapidity of which she went back to work after Trig's birth, and talks about how her family handled it. Here's the link: Palin fuses politics and motherhood in a new way

The second is a short article from The Washington Times about Barak Obama's verbal slip Sunday while he was being interviewed by ABC's George Stephanopoulos on "This Week." (In case you haven't heard, he accidently said "my Muslim faith" instead of "my Christian faith," and Stephanopoulos was the one who immediately corrected him.) I'm not an Obama fan, but I do pity that slip. I've definitely done things like that! (Yet no one's paying that much attention to me so it's not a big deal anyway.) Here's the link: Obama's verbal slip fuels his critics

So it's totally unacceptable to be pro-life?

Gov. Sarah Palin with husband Todd and infant son Trig, who has Downs Syndrome.

Today's issue of The New York Times featured not one, not two, but three stories on Gov. Sarah Palin's 17 year-old unwed and pregnant daughter Bristol ON THE FRONT PAGE.

Seriously? Who deemed all three front page stories necessary? Very tactful, NY Times. Excellent work.

As countless politicians and public figures (McCain, Obama, and Thompson, to name a few) have said, it's a private matter. Sadly, it's now under public scrutiny simply because Palin is McCain's running mate.

The press has been merciless in bringing this issue to light and honestly, it's none of their business (so one might ask why I'm blogging about it...). I don't believe in hiding the issue, but please, let the girl have some privacy. (Lord knows if McCain and Palin take office that neither Bristol nor the rest of the families will have any privacy.)

I'm cheering for Palin and for Bristol - why? Because it's obvious that they're pro-life. One, they've been open about Bristol's pregnancy, the baby's father, and the fact that she plans to marry the father and keep the baby. Two, Palin's fifth child, Trig, has Down's Syndrome. Due to pre-natal genetic testing, Mr. and Gov. Palin knew that Trig would be born with Down's Syndrome, yet they chose to keep him - even despite family pressures from Gov. Palin's own mother. I find it disgusting that the grandmother of a child that's already been born and a great-grandchild still in the womb would still talk about the possibility of abortion. Seriously, what is wrong with you?

So what do I think? Let's leave Bristol Palin alone and focus on Gov. Palin; after all, how is this side story really going to change Gov. Palin's ability to lead our country in the role of vice president? And let all the pro-life voters out there commend Gov. Palin and her family, speak up, and stick with them - after all, isn't this the kind of person we've been wanting in office for years?

Suffering from mouth ulcers/sores?

Yikes, what a gross title. I also realize this may win the award for the most random blog post (potentially ever), but I wanted to share this great product with anyone who might need it!

If you get mouth ulcers/sores (different than fever blisters that appear around the outside of your mouth), have rub spots from braces or dentures, or other irritations/injuries to your mouth and gum area, you should try Colgate's Orabase. I've had the worst ulcer on my gumline/inside lip for a week now, as well as two small ulcers on my tongue caused by a daily medication. I finally broke down last night and headed to Kroger to buy Orajel, which is what I've used in the past. Even though the relief doesn't last very long, it still keeps the spot numb for a few minutes.

After seeing the ADA (American Dental Association) seal on Orabase, I picked it up instead. Wow. If you suffer from any kinds of mouth sores, try it. Just by applying a pindrop-sized drop of the paste makes the spot go numb for a while, plus the pain decreases even when you start to regain feeling in the area.

It's a little pricey ($5.99 at Kroger and the box size is very deceiving - the tube is only 0.21 ounces), but it really does work. I bought the paste, but the web site shows that it comes in a gel form as well. As always, follow the instructions and check with a doctor or dentist if anything strange happens. I'm no expert, but I really do recommend this product. Thank you, Colgate!

Olympic spirit

I'll be the first to admit that I was less than excited about some of the things that I've heard about the Beijing Olympics. After watching the opening ceremony tonight, my expectations changed.

Kudos to China for a truly spectacular opening ceremony! Watching Li Ning light the cauldron was an experience that I'll remember for a long time. Incredible vision, engineering, and just plain skills over there.

Watching China's Yao Ming carry the Chinese flag into the stadium brought tears to my eyes - not because of Yao, but because of the nine year-old boy walking beside him. Second grader Lin Hao survived the May earthquake of a 8.0 magnitude that killed 28 of 31 students in his class. After freeing himself from the rubble, he went back in to save two of his classmates. When asked why, he said that he was a leader (a hall monitor) and it was his responsibility.


Photo from http://en.beijing2008.cn/ceremonies/headlines/n214518587.shtml

Wow. And that's coming from a nine year-old. That's the Olympic spirit.

Read the story from the official Olympic web site here.

Cat weighs 44 pounds (the weight of an average five-year old)

While I was in New York in May, I received news that my beloved Mississippi was the "fattest station in the nation" for the third year running (according to CalorieLab; other articles and sites have said that this is the fourth year for Mississippi - alas). My home state of Tennessee falls closely behind at number six. The article gives the typical reasons and explanations for Mississippi's obesity: fast food is quick, convienent, and located everywhere, while some of the grocery stores (you know, where you buy fruits and veggies and all that great healthy stuff) are over 40 miles away. Crazy, but it's not hard for me to believe!

Would you know, obesity's even becoming a very large (pun intended) problem even with pets. Check out this monster of a cat, nicknamed "Princess Chunk," found wandering the streets of New Jersey:



She weighs 44 pounds! To put that into perspective, that's the average size of a five-year old child, according to the National Center for Health Statistics.

Read the complete article and view a slideshow of other strange pets (including a woman who has her lab running for town mayor) here.

Looking for baby names? Don't use these.

Not to turn into a baby names blog or a celebrity blog, but I found this quite crazy, amusing, and sad...all at the same time:

Interesting Baby Names

Some of the most unique/horrible baby names: Dweezel, Moon Unit, Diva Muffin (those three are Frank Zappa's kids), Sage Moonblood (Sylvester Stallone), Audio Science (Shannyn Sossamon), Poppy Honey, Daisy Boo (both are Jamie Oliver's children), Moxie Crimefighter (Penn Jillete), Little Pixie (Bob Geldof), Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee), and Jermajesty (Jermaine Jackson).

Yikes. Apart from a few normal names that made the list (Pierce Brosnan's son is Dylan Thomas and Kate Hudson's son is Ryder Russell- please explain how those two made the list) and few unique (in a good way) names (John Mellencamp's daughter is Justice and Jessica Alba's daughter is Honor), most of them are cruel and unusual punishment.

For the love of all things good, holy, and right in the world, please don't name your children something crazy...like Lemonjello and Orangejello (twin boys, rumor has it they might be in Memphis?).

Dad sells baby's name for $100 gas card

Yes, that's an actual headline.

What have parent succumbed to these days? I mean, I know gas prices are ridiculous, but giving up the right and privilege to name your own son for a $100 gas card? That poor kid. He'll have a great story about his name that will haunt him for the rest of his life.

ORLANDO, Fla. (July 12) - An Orlando man has traded the naming rights to his unborn son for a $100 gas card.

David Partin recently heard that a local radio station was giving $100 worth of free gas to the listener who called in with the most interesting item to trade. Central Florida radio hosts Richard Dixon and J. Willoughby were quick to take Partin up on his offer, The Orlando Sentinel reports.

When the baby is born this winter, he will be named Dixon and Willoughby Partin — with the "and" included.

Partin's girlfriend, Samantha, says at least her son will have an interesting story about how he got his name.

Dixon and Willoughby plan to be at the hospital when the baby is born and will hand over the gas card when they see the official birth certificate.

To read the official AP story and to view the photo of the couple, click here.

To read to original article (published in The Orlando Sentinel), click here.

Items found at a Mississippi gas station

This post is mainly for some of my Yank - I mean friends up north who loved teasing me about my Southern drawl (which is very minor compared to most of the people at my school, but whatever), overalls, wearing shorts to class because it’s 95+ degrees for at least three months, saying “funny” words and phrases like “y’all,” “reckon,” “yonder,” “Mis-sipi” (sound it out – the lazy yet much shorter way to say “Mississippi”), “you’re slower than molasses running uphill in January,” “I’m up a creek with no paddle” and “where are the cows in this god-forsaken city!?” (Okay, I exaggerate just a little.)

Last week, my family took a four-day trip (two days driving, two days at the beach) to Orange Beach (Gulf Shores), Alabama. Of course, this meant driving from Memphis, through Tupelo, past Starkville (home of Mississippi State University, where I now fondly call second home), into Meridian, and…well, I’m not exactly sure what we went through after that. It involved probably hundreds of small towns (populations averaging 64, counting the cows and chickens) in Mississippi and Alabama, and stops at those places are sometimes my favorite. I think you’ll see why.

Items found at Mississippi gas station, somewhere in-between Citronelle (let’s just say that’s close to Mobile, Alabama, because that’s the largest/most recognizable city nearby) and Meridian (Mississippi):



A bottle opener that makes four different turkey calls (and sadly, there was only one left, so they have sold some)
Pantyhose (all different shades and sizes)
A sign on the door reading “Pants must be pulled up and shirts worn inside for service.” (Kind of sad that they have to post that on the door.)
Sticks of homemade beef jerky in a plastic dispenser labeled, “Please pay at the register” (I’m not doing a very good job explaining this one: you would just push the handle down like a toothpick or straw dispenser and out popped your beef jerky. As my friend Hannah says, sick dog.)
All kinds of wise redneck sayings and clichés on t-shirts, cozies, baseball caps, cell phone covers and bumper stickers (Regretfully, I didn’t have much time to ponder these. We make very quick fill-up/bathroom stops.)

Man, I love the South…home is good. :)

Confession

Confession for the blog world out there: I've been jealous.

Through various events this summer, I've started to realize how slow I am to rejoice with others in their blessings. Whether it be incredible internships, fast-paced freelancing jobs, people hunting them down for job interviews, getting the job of their dreams, finding "the one" (that refers to all the great weddings and showers going on this season!), the list could probably go on a little ways.

(By the way, "slow to rejoice" is just a nicer way of admitting that I'm simply jealous.)

Instead of rejoicing in what they've been given, my first thought has usually been, "Lord, why didn't you bless me with something like that? How come my freelancing jobs haven't come through whatsoever? Why did the paid internship fall through when it seemed like I had it? Are You closing these doors to tell me to consider a different career?"

While this summer (after returning from New York) certainly seemed discouraging in several aspects, I've realized that the Lord is teaching me to rejoice in what He's given to me and what He's given to others. He has certainly been gracious to me. Although it wasn't my plan, I've returned to the job that I've had for almost three years. It's perfect for my schedule. While I haven't received the hours that want/need, that's enabled me to catch up on so many things: family, reading for pleasure (it's been well over a year since I've been able to pick up a book for pleasure), having heart-to-hearts with close friends and volunteering at Life Choices. These are things that I've longed to do for quite some time, but in the chaos of last summer and my other breaks from school, they rarely happen.

The Lord has reminded me that all things come from Him and come according to His perfect timing, not mine. So while I might have already planned out my summer months in advance, He's the one in control of it all (Prov. 20:24).

I haven't "fixed" my discontentment yet (nor can I, because I can't "fix things" on my own), but the Lord has graciously reminded me that He is faithful and will provide exactly what I need when I need it. He has started to show me how wonderful it is to rejoice with others in what He's given them. I am so grateful for how He has blessed me and continues to bless me, and I'm thankful that He has been so gracious to my dear friends, family and coworkers this summer. What sweet comfort to know that our Heavenly Father sees fit to bless us with exactly what we need and will never leave us. He's got it all under control!

I have so much left to learn

It never ceases to amaze me just how little I know.

Today, two sweet girls from the Mormon church came knocking on my front door. I was the only one home (funny, that happened the last time they came) and by the time I hit the stairs and realized who they were, I knew I had to open the door. I wasn't ready or prepared to speak to them; I had just been researching contacts for one of my stories and definitely was not in the mindset to be thinking, "Okay, how can I engage these girls?"

They spoke to me for a few minutes, asking how familiar I was with the Mormon church. They were glad to hear that I had a Mormon friend and were surprised to hear that I had studied the Mormon religion at my high school (Just to clear things up: studied, not believed, meaning we were taught about it, but not taught to believe it. I went to an Evangelical Christian high school.) We actually watched this video in high school, and it basically sums up what I remember learning about the Mormon faith. I know there was more, but that would require me finding my Bible 12 notes to remember everything.

They offered me a little information, encouraged me to check out their web site for non-church members, and gave me a card with a phone number and the web site address.

Every time the Mormon church comes up, whether it's in a conversation, seeing that friend of mine pop up on Facebook, or having Mormon missionaries knock on my door, I instantly regret not knowing more about what others believe. There are so many different religions out there, but the Mormon religion keeps coming back to me again and again. I just wish I knew more about it so that I could actually sit down and have an intelligent, non-threatening conversations with those who come with the intent to get me interested (and eventually converted).

I admire their hearts - although they're required to be missionaries for the Mormon church for at least 18 months (I thought it was two years, but I can't find the exact number), they do it very nicely and sincerely. They weren't pushy and simply want to offer further information. Sometimes I feel like the Christian church could take a lesson in evangelism just by watching how fervent other religions are in their efforts to convert.

So this summer, I'm making it a priority: I'm going to review the teachings of the Mormon church and find out what they believe so that I can effectively sit down with their missionaries and start asking questions...with the intent of pointing them back to the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Writer's block

I have a severe case of writer's block. I'm finally home in Memphis and bored/procrastinating/really don't want to unpack my room. (Long story. I've moved back home for the summer and therefore must unpack, which doesn't make a lot of sense to me, but those are the rules here.) There's always lots to do here, I just can't figure out what to write about nor can I really seem to get motivated about writing. Bummer. It's been a long time since I've had writer's block.

I guess it is good to be home, though. I missed the South, mainly family and my church, but also friends, sweet tea, Southern accents, hot weather, wildlife (I saw squirrels in the backyard today and realized that I never saw any while I was in New York - how sad), working out (shocking, I know), Mom's cooking, real barbecue, wearing t-shirts, country music, and my bed.

Someone once told me that after I came back home from college, home wouldn't be the same. Sadly, they were right. I feel "at home," but I feel like I've left a piece of me everywhere that I've been. Part of me is here in Memphis, another part of me is in Starkville, Mississippi, and a small part of me is in New York. From now on, I guess I'll just miss people no matter where I am...how about we all move to one place and fix this? :)

On the upside, I'm planning on writing a story focusing on several Memphis barbecue joints, and that makes me pretty excited. There are two close to my dad's business, and they're these little hole-in-the-wall places with some of the best stuff around town. I'm looking forward to sitting down with the cooks, owners, and customers to hear their stories and taste some of that delicious barbecue. Anyone have suggestions for places I should visit?

The code to Narnia cracked

One of the things I’m most excited about this summer is reading new books. I’ve got well over 20 on my “to-read” list, mostly new books with some old favorites mixed in here and there. (Go ahead, call me a nerd. I’m thrilled about reading for pleasure instead of classes.)

As of Tuesday night, one of my old favorites, The Chronicles of Narnia (C.S. Lewis), jumped from the lower middle of my list to the top of my list – plus I’ve now managed to pick one of the 20+ books from WJI to read on my flights/layovers back home.

The book that I’ll be reading on my way back to Memphis – Planet Narnia: The Seven Heavens in the Imagination of C.S. Lewis by Michael Ward.

I had the privilege of hearing Ward lecture in New York at Socrates in the City Tuesday evening. There’s no way to sum up everything that he talked about, but in short, he has cracked Lewis’s code in the Narnia series, linking elements to Lewis’s study of medieval cosmology.

If you’re like me, maybe you didn’t initially realize the books had a “code.” Even so, did you ever wonder about certain elements that Lewis throws into his series, like Father Christmas? I know that I did…I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why Father Christmas appeared in the books. Ward explained this – and other confusing elements – in Lewis’s books. I can’t begin to tell you how I felt as Ward fully explained Father Christmas – the light bulb finally went off for me!

Some might say that cracking Lewis’s code ruins the series. I would argue with Ward and say that it doesn’t; instead, it makes sense of the confusions and gives us a greater understanding and appreciation of the author and his intent.

Two things I really appreciated about Ward’s lecture: First, he began with Psalm 19 (“The heavens declare the glory of God…”), which is one of my favorite psalms. It was a reminder that even literature – a form of God’s creation – can point others to Him and bring Him glory. Secondly, he said something along the lines of this during the lecture (paraphrased): “If we can’t figure out the world of a children’s book [because the Narnia series was intended for children], how can we figure out all of the real world made by an infinite Creator?” That helped me put things into perspective and remember that it’s okay that I don’t have everything about the world figured out.

I started to blog exactly what Ward spoke about during his lecture and then realized that would kill the secret. I’ve given the links to the book, so go get your curious self a copy and then we’ll talk about it further.

(By the way, my second layover/plane book will probably be Eric Metaxas’s Amazing Grace: William Wilberforce and the Heroic Campaign to End Slavery. Metaxas is the founder and host of Socrates in the City and graciously allowed the WJI students to attend Tuesday evening – thanks, Eric!)

Visit to the World Trade Center

During our WJI class last Friday, we received an assignment to go interview someone who worked in New York. We were broken up into groups of two or three (and some singles) and given the afternoon to find an interesting New Yorker and tell their story via photographs and audio recording. James H. had the idea to visit the World Trade Center in hopes that we could interview a construction worker, so we headed that way. Camera, pens, steno pad, and DAR (that's digital audio recorder for you non-WJI/non-technology readers) in tow, we formed our interview questions during the subway ride to Manhattan.

As the train roared through the subway, James pointed out the former Cortland Street stop, which has been closed since 9/11. They are doing construction on it and several of the subway signs indicate that it was expected to be opened by fall 2006. Looking at the reconstruction was a solemn reminder that the planes didn't just take out buildings; they took out subways, too.

After we got off the train, we had to walk for a few minutes to get to the site. I honestly didn't know what to expect. We walked down a dim street and rounded a corner...then I saw it. Not the site, not the gaping holes, not even the crowd of onlookers by the fences around all the construction.



Not a particularly moving picture, but it's a lanyard - a reminder of a person's identity - tied to part of the scaffold from what appears to be a new monument. Attached to the lanyard is a decorative ponytail holder, the kind that only a small child would wear. It suddenly hit me: this item represents some one's father, mother, sister, brother, cousin, best friend, co-worker who died at 9/11.

I hadn't even looked at the actual site, seem the memorial, or listened to the sounds around me and yet I was already overwhelmed. I swallowed, took a deep breath, reached into my camera bag, snapped on my lens, and started shooting, telling myself, "There's a story that needs to be told. Do it."

We kept walking and dodging tourists, vendors, workers, and commuters. We were surrounded by the noise of the city, but I still felt like it was quiet; something was missing. That something was laughter. It will be seven years this September and yet the area's still solemn and missing something else beside the towers.

James and I found Harry Roland, a self-described advocate who worked at the South Tower prior and during 9/11. Roland comes to the site every day with a backpack loaded with photo albums of the site prior to, during, and after 9/11 to remind people that seven buildings were destroyed at 9/11, not just the towers. It was an incredible interview and photo opp. Our audio from the the project is pretty rough (thankfully not our fault), but it turned out well. We told Roland's story. (I may post the link later.)

This is one of Roland's albums; I loved this photo simply because it reminds me of a Bible - it represents this man's story.



The site itself wasn't particularly moving or impressive. It looks like a massive mess of a construction site. Once I got up high enough, I could see that there's damage and not just reconstruction. I saw holes from where the towers stood and underground where the mall was under one of the towers. (Until I met Roland, I had no idea that there was a shopping mall under the WTC.)

Music changes tone of NYC subways

Rolling suitcases. Passengers running down to platforms at Olympic record speeds. The wafting aroma of Starbucks and cheap fast food.

Flashing signs with train time updates and advertisements. The looks of exhausted and irritated passengers struggling with their luggage as they head to their next stop.

But in one corner of chaos called Penn Station lies something different. A small crowd has gathered around a petite woman, just taller than her microphone stand, nearly overshadowed by her acoustic guitar.

Her name is Nicola Vazquez and she’s playing music in the subway. She calls herself Nicola.

Dressed in black and wearing pigtails, she’s clearly enjoying her performance, grinning in between verses, and smiling and giving slight bows and nods after each song. Nicola thrives off her audience, catching their eyes and singing straight into them.

Leaning into her guitar and away from the microphone, her fingers fly across the frets. She alternates between delicate picking patterns to punctuated, pulsing chords.

The stage is the slick floor of the subway, lit by the glow of the neon yellow McDonald’s sign. Just below Nicola’s feet lie a small amp and an open guitar case, displaying Nicola’s CDs and providing an avenue for donations.

Nicola is just one of over 100 sanctioned subway performers from MTA’s Music Under New York program.

Manager with Arts for Transit and Music Under New York Lydia Bradshaw says the program appeals to the public.

“It’s like an event and it’s a nice ambiance to come across,” Bradshaw says.

She says Music Under New York provides 150 subway performances each week, covering all kinds of genres.

“We have all kinds of acts for the roster,” Bradsaw says. “It’s kind of a reflection of all the different cultures and people in New York.”

Nicola says she performs in the subway because she enjoys the interaction with various kinds of people.

“You meet a lot of people and gain experience,” she explains. “Where else are you going to meet such a cross-section of people?”

In his article “In Subway Platform, These Musicians Set Their Stage” from The New York Times, Corey Kilgannon writes that the program provides an extensive variety of music. It also includes musicians from across the world, including Africa and South America, exposing commuters to all kinds of music, languages and instruments.

Millions of people pass through New York’s subways every year and Nicola says they handle and respond to subway music differently.

The lack of a stage creates a completely different atmosphere than an actual venue.

“There’s no separation between you and your audience so you cannot be squeamish,” Nicola says.

Audience members sometimes get right Nicola’s face or try to speak to her while she’s performing. While it can be annoying, she realizes that an unusual kind of venue presents different challenges.

“The basic thing is, you take the good with the bad,” she says, shrugging her shoulders. “You’re going to meet people, you’re going to make connections.”

Having music in the subway creates a different and unexpected environment, Nicola says.

“Music is very soothing; it gives people peace,” she says. “The music in the program brings a pleasant atmosphere.”

Nicola said that none of her subway performances are the same because the audience changes and she never knows how people will respond or how many will buy her music.

“Every night’s different, it’s very random,” she says.

Nicola has played guitar and sung since age seven. In addition to solo performances, she also sings has a band, also called Nicola. The band does not perform with her at the subway, but they perform at other venues.

The challenging subway location gives Nicola a different focus and goal during her performance.

“If I can hold someone for a minute, I’ve accomplished something,” she says. “It’s building me – the longer I’m down here, the better I get.”

Nicola notes that she initially did not make it into the program on her first audition. She auditioned again and has been a subway performer for over three years.

“I’m very grateful and thankful to have been accepted,” she says. “Were it not for this program, I wouldn’t be where I am today.”

Ode to Technology

Oh technology, thou are wonderful and great.
Thou has kept my hands from becoming ink-stained
Thou has enabled me to keep up with my notes electronically
Thou has allowed me to take loads of photographs
Thou has also stored said photographs.
Thou has equipped me to better waste my time on the evil known as Facebook.
Quite frankly, technology,
Thou hast saved my rear many a time.

But tonight, technology, alas, my love has faded
For thou has not kept up with all of my audio recording (which is due tomorrow)
Technology, why must thou plague me this way?
Why must thou refuse to cooperate and lose my material, especially the night before a deadline?
Why, technology, why?
Thou are cruel and unjust
Thou art not dependable
Thou only frustrates and bringeth despair.

Oh technology, tonight, I do not love thee.

A few thoughts on the NYC subway

Why is there music in the New York subways?

This was the question I asked myself last week as I boarded my first subway train.

Over the week, I was fascinated to hear various musicians at subway stops across New York. 

I got to interview the manager of the MTA (Metropolitan Transportation Authority) Arts for Transit program here in New York yesterday and just thought about how interesting the concept of music is in a noisy, crazy, bustling place like the subway system.

I came to find out that there’s over 100 musicians on a roster that are allowed to perform in the subway system. They audition for spots; this year, over 200 people auditioned and only 23 were chosen. I found a blog with pictures of this year’s auditions and there are people playing instruments that I’ve never seen – much less heard of – before a few days ago.

These subway performers are not paid through the program; they make their money through donations from the public. It gives them a venue to interact with commuters and use their music to encourage and soothe those in the subways.



Late last night, I caught one of the subway performers, a singer named Nicola. I watched as she held a steady crowd and sang above all the noise and chaos in the subway system. She was kind enough to talk to me after she finished around 11. We chatted as she packed up her equipment. I asked her a few questions, but mostly went from what she started telling me about her subway gig.

She said one of the most difficult parts about performing in the subway is the lack of a real stage. I hadn’t even considered that as a challenge, but it presents a very real issue. I watched as people walked right up to her face to drop money in her guitar case or wave, even during the middle of one of her songs. Honestly, people can be rude and disrespectful by getting too close or trying to speak to a musician while she’s in the middle of a performance. What happened to common courtesy? People wouldn’t do things like that during a concert at a “normal” venue.

It’s still such a crazy concept to me. Wouldn’t these subway musicians much rather be in concert halls or even bars performing with a much more attentive audience? Why are they willing to perform and share their amazing skills and talents with an audience that often seems unappreciative? Do they like the way their music sounds in the subway? How hard it is to make yourself heard above the hubbub? Is it just as much for tourists as it is for everyday New York commuters? I couldn’t really find anyone who gave me complete answers to these questions, but maybe I’ll head back to the subways this week and keep asking.

I enjoyed watching the audience response to the music. Very few walk by and completely ignore the musicians. I’ve only witnessed one rude audience member and he was only rude because he didn’t like the religious music that one group sang. As he asked me very loudly, “You think if I give them money they’d shut the [expletive] up? I hate that stuff, I have no religion.” Another male audience member approached a female singer as she packed up her equipment and asked her to sign his hand. She smiled and graciously granted his request, which was probably more than I could have done. I honestly don’t know how I would respond to situations like that.

I appreciate the Music Under New York program and find it fascinating that someone took the time to realize that adding something as simple as music might help soothe and settle some of the chaos that is the New York subway system. I think it’s important that they continue to expand their program and work to maintain diversity on their music roster.

I can't believe I did this...

Last Friday night/Saturday morning, I camped out for a chance at getting tickets to Saturday Night Live's season finale (Steve Carell from The Office, John McCain, and Usher). It was fun, but one of the craziest/stupidest things I've done in a LONG time. Friday, we were in class 8:30-1 and then had two deadlines to meet that afternoon. We also had to be in class Saturday morning by 9. What were we thinking...



This is the group of girls: Mary Catherine, Molly, Debs, and yours truly. James and Chris were also with us. And yes, we did get in to the dress rehearsal. It was fun, but it was a pretty dirty episode. Hope they cut some of the nasty stuff out of the real show. Steve Carell is so talented. It was exciting to see John McCain and hey, he's got guts to appear in New York and poke fun of his age on SNL. Usher, um, he is talented and a very attractive man. I think it would be wise for me to leave it at that or I'll run into a rant.

New York is wonderful. I'm blown away by how many opportunities there are here. I'm blessed to live in a "big" city, but I feel like it's a map dot compared to New York. I'm also humbled every day through subtle and not-so-subtle reminders of how much I have to learn - and it's not just journalism.

New York is also cold. I should have brought something other than a sweatshirt and a blazer. (Thank you, Kate! You've seriously aided my professional image..hah.)

Okay, off to keep writing stories. Currently pondering, sorting through, and working on a New York piece that required me going out into a totally unfamiliar place and approaching and interviewing complete strangers. Loved it. (Isn't that crazy? I've never minded talking to complete strangers, but I thought being in an unfamiliar city might really throw me a huge curve ball.) I just wish I had another day or two to better craft my story...but hey, that's always my thought on pretty much every story.

Faulkner and Oral Tradition

Before written languages, the only way to remember people was through oral tradition: the telling of stories passed from one generation to the next. Men sought an epic quest, whether through a journey, battle or pursuit of a villain, and hoped that the story of their conquest would immortalize them after their death. While they would not continue to dwell on earth in their physical bodies, they hoped to live on through stories of their successes. A life without any stories of triumph meant disgrace because there would be no remembrance of the man after his death.

William Faulkner’s The Bear exhibits the characteristics of such a story. The tale describes a band of men who seek Old Ben, a legendary and almost invincible bear. While Faulkner’s loaded, winding sentences prove difficult to read on paper, they are well-crafted examples of the oral tradition style.

The hunters show fierce dedication and competitiveness, sharing camaraderie in their common goal to finish off Old Ben. Refusing to back down from an animal that has escaped death at least fifty-two times (by bullets alone), the men demonstrate unshakeable determination. They vow that they will break him, conquering him and all others that have failed in their attempts.

Today, everyone still wants to be remembered after his death. Instead of living lives of self-focus, men should seek a quest aiding others, like the group of men in Faulkner’s story. There is no glory in being remembered for things done for self-gratification.

Gay Telese's Epic Story (Frank Sinatra Has a Cold)

If today’s celebrity profiling/entertainment writers wrote their articles like Gay Talese did, I might keep up with celebrities; not to follow the subject matter of the article, but to simply to enjoy the way the stories would read because of a masterful author.

Talese revolutionized journalism through his literary style. He employed a storytelling method instead of a hard news reporting and yet he also incorporated classical literary devices into his writing. In Frank Sinatra Has a Cold, Talese begins the story in medias res, Latin for “into the middle of things.” This is exactly how Virgil begins his epic poem The Aeneid. Talese shows his brilliance by placing a classical literary element into an article that reads just like an epic story.

I couldn’t put down Talese’s story. His elegant sentences, clear observations and his conversational and storytelling measures make the story personal. Instead of reading an article about Frank Sinatra – a man whom I know very little about – I felt like I was there observing Sinatra with Talese. I became so caught up that I forgot I was reading.

Today’s journalists focus heavily on hard news and quick stories planned and written after one or two interviews with a celebrity. By following Sinatra around, listening to him, paying attention to the small details and research, Talese seems to capture Sinatra’s essence in his article. It is not another boring article about a celebrity rear-ending another SUV; it is a well crafted, clearly written work, worthy of multiple re-readings.

Reconsidering chaos: My world versus Rwanda's genocide

Reading Philip Gourevitch’s We wish to inform you that tomorrow we will be killed with our families (punctuation is as appears on the book’s cover), makes the word “chaos” take on a completely different meaning.

Recently I’ve used the word “chaos” to describe a various number of things, mainly my lack of a set schedule due to exams, moving back home and searching for a job.

Gourevitch uses the word “chaos” to illustrate genocide – something very different than my portrayal of the word. Through his own words and the words of his sources, Gourevitch clearly indicates that there is more to chaos than my definition.

Dr. Eliel Ntaki used the word “chaos” to avoid using “genocide”, describing chaos as “every man for himself.” Pastor Elizaphan Ntakirutimana also substituted “chaos” for “genocide.” After saying Jesus is the only one who can take away hatred and sin, he closed with, “Everything is chaos.”

Reading the book during one of the busiest times of my semester, I realized that contrary to how I felt, my life was not chaos. I was chasing my studies, not being hunted down because of my ethnicity. I was tired because of studying, not because I was on the run for my life. I was hurting from lack of sleep, not because I had been beaten, raped and left for dead.

After finishing the book, I felt as if there were truly no words in the English language to describe what has happened in Rwanda, but perhaps Gourevitch’s exposition on “chaos” is the closest possible definition.

Handling grief: The Shawl & Cindy Sheehan

Words cannot express how thankful I am to have a normal immediate family, specifically a normal mother who doesn’t obsess over the past and live in a state of frenzied grief.

That was the first thought that entered my mind after completing Cynthia Ozick’s The Shawl. Ozick’s tale portrays a woman named Rosa during and following the time of the Nazi reign. Rosa witnesses a Nazi guard murdering her daughter Magda and the incident scars her for the remainder of her life. She continues to live in the past, shows odd signs of grief (destroying her store and needing Magda’s shawl), and refuses to let anyone into her life.

As I read, I kept thinking, “Get over it! Move on and finish grieving!”

Then I realized that I hadn’t been through anything close to this traumatic. Strangely, my memory jumped to Cindy Sheehan, the mother of a soldier killed in Iraq in 2004.

Mrs. Sheehan claims that her son died "for nothing," taking extreme measures trying to prove her point. She lost her marriage and funds and many questioned her sanity because of her decisions.

I’m sure it’s difficult to let go and to finish grieving over events with such a magnitude as losing a loved one – especially a child – whether from the Holocaust or the war in Iraq. While I don’t agree with either woman’s methods or madness in grieving, I have no reference point for dealing with such an event. I can’t help but wonder how such an event would impact my own life and how I would handle such grief.

Write about yourself...in 100 words

So I cheated the system a little bit and made this over 100 words. I didn't think I would have any trouble writing my bio for WJI, but it was really hard for me to stick to such a short amount of words! Guess I need to work on being brief...being an English major has trained me to expound upon everything that I know while being a Journalism major has trained me to keep it short and sweet and still get the point across adequately. 

(The assignment was to write a 100 word bio, including journalism background and goals. Try it sometime and see if you go over, too.)

I’m a rising junior from Memphis, Tenn., studying journalism and English at Mississippi State University. I’m a news/online writer and photographer for our campus newspaper. I took newspaper courses in high school, gaining writing, photography and editing experience. I’ve freelanced with The Commercial Appeal and will do so again this summer. 

I plan on attending graduate school and hope to work with a newspaper or magazine, possibly focusing on non-profit and pro-life agencies.

As a Christian, I’m called to seek truth and share it with the world. I can think of no better profession for doing so than journalism.

See, just a glimpse...I guess I just want people to know more about me than just a blurb of 100 words. I thought about making it a string of random thoughts...like so: 

I'm on a first name basis with several of the AT&T hotline phone technicians because I've been through six or seven cell phones in two years. (Honestly, I take really good care of them, but they just stop working!) I've been in the PCA since I was six. I've never been on a roller coaster - just the thought of riding one scares me. I've lived in Memphis all my life and have never been to Graceland, but I've visited Graceland Too in Holly Springs, Miss. at least four times! I have a Mac and I'm never going back. I have arthritis and can't find my wrist brace at the moment...really hoping it's still packed in one of my boxes from moving back home from college. I have a learning disability that is frustrating but has taught and forced me to work hard in many aspects of life, especially school. I'm incredibly afraid of heights. I wouldn't dive into water or light a match until I was about 11. (Not sure exactly why. I guess I was scared?) I don't mind if you ask me questions about being adopted; in fact, I love telling people! I'm named after my great grandmother, and yes, if you forget my name, I'll answer to Audra, Aubrey, Audrey, Auburn, even Anna, but I would love it if you could remember my name. I think beautiful buildings, especially old churches, are wonderful. Probably 70 percent of my wardrobe is blue. I use guy's deodorant because it works better. I can't memorize to save my life. My jaw is completely out of alignment and I have TMJ, but I still love smiling, even though it's very crooked. I love my Trinity Hymnal. You'll be my new best friend if you can make me laugh. I have the most incredible family and home church in the world. I love going to a huge SEC school and I don't feel like I'm simply a number at a school of 16,000 (-ish) students. I love being from the South. Yes, my hair is naturally that curly and no, I've never colored it. Instead of reading me bedtime stories or singing to me, my daddy read my the children's catechism at night before bed (starting the day I came home for the first time!). I have Raynaud's, so it's okay/normal when my fingers and toes turn death blue or blood red. I'm incredibly allergic to MSG. I think it's really sad that Russians don't have/don't eat peanut butter. I'm a major night owl and can function for days with no sleep.

Okay, that's definitely enough and way more than anyone wants to read. Someone else needs to give bio writing a try while I keep reading my books and writing my other essays!

P.S. Got to attend a Derek Webb/Sandra McCracken concert in Memphis last night at Otherlands. They're incredible. If you're looking for new music, check them out.

I want to do anything but study

I realize this isn't a "thoughtful" post, but it will be awhile before I can sit down for some time to really think about things going on...

I'm nearing the end of my semester. It's crazy that I'm almost finished with my sophomore year. I still remember being the confused, lost freshman on a campus with countless buildings and a study body of around 16,000. Where has the time gone? Have I used it wisely? What do I have to show for my two years here? Where have I invested myself and do I need to continue those investments for my remaining two years? Where have I spent my time to further the Kingdom? What investments have helped me grow in my walk with the Lord? What investments have I made to serve others and make a difference in their lives? 

I keep telling everyone that I can't wait for summer and honestly, I'm really excited about it: family, New York, freelancing, maybe a new job, home church, reuniting with best friends, reading for enjoyment and not for school, being back in a big city. Despite all these things, it hit me last week how much I'm going to miss the things at school: all my incredible friends, RUF, the wonderful girls in community group, core group, random walks around campus, late night "exploration expeditions" of campus, staying up ridiculously late for various reasons, meeting new people, music team, 525, being able to walk almost anywhere that I need to go. I felt the same "torn" feeling going in to last summer, but I was really almost too busy at home last summer to think about feeling torn between the two places.

Anyway, moving on to this week. Maybe posting all this will help me get my thoughts together and relieve some stress of having it all in my head? 

Today: Missed first class because I overslept. I think this is the first time that's ever happened. Met with a professor for help with one of the 10-page papers. Now on to writing newspaper interview questions, calling sources, setting up interviews; studying for cumulative AP Style test and current events quiz (last one of the year!); start Latin word list/final; work on two 10-page papers

Tuesday: The test and quiz; meet with a professor to get double major dropped to a single major (hooray!); continue with article, Latin, and papers

Wednesday: Latin quiz; college's cookout (serving); RUF banquet for the seniors (serving); studying like mad for an exam the next day

Thursday: 19th Century British Novels final exam; continue working on papers and Latin; study for Mass Media test; meet with a professor about the first paper; meet with the Writing Center to have a tutor examine said paper; RUF luau party/Suicidal Margarine farewell concert (I'm sad to think that I'll probably be missing that last event for the second year in a row)

Friday: One paper due; Mass Media test; Latin list/exam due; run a friend around town; keep writing my last paper of the semester

This week is going to be difficult, but so will everyone else's (probably?), and hey, it's life. (And all this makes exam week look a LOT better.) And as several sweet friends have reminded me, God is always faithful to give me the strength to complete everything that He has called me to do (even if it means not sleeping for a few nights).

God is good!

Got my approval for a freelance contract this summer that will enable to get my classroom fee waived for summer journalism school (assuming I get in)---thank you, Jesus!

Also received confirmation/peace/direction about changing one of my majors to a minor last night. Wow, what an incredible feeling of relief! I'm sticking with a Journalism major and an English minor...I'll hopefully go next week to figure out how that changes my courses for the next two years. 

Just wanted to share that good news! :) God is good!

A verse of encouragement

Let me hear in the morning of Your steadfast love, for in You I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to You I lift up my soul. (Psalm 143:8)

As some of you may know, I have recently been going through the "what in the world am I going to do with my life/major" phase. Up until now, I haven't ever wondered about my major (I knew it would always be English and then later Journalism) and haven't really bothered to think about specific career plans. I know many others that have struggled with these thoughts before, and now I'm right there with you---it is so difficult!

After a meeting with several advisers, I found out that I am NOT set to graduate on time; in fact, I need another semester here. Major bummer because scholarships won't cover that semester and I really don't want to graduate a semester late anyway. Over the past few weeks, I've been figuring out the logistics of summer school, taking extra hours, and trying to get some two-for-one deals as far as course credits go (pretty unsuccessful on that last one, but hey, I've tried!).

I sat down last night to plan my fall 2008 schedule, plan my summer school courses, and look into online/correspondence courses here at MSU. To my dismay, almost nothing I need is offered during the times I need. My plans have/will quickly change: summer school means one night class instead of my plan of two morning classes, correspondence means taking one of my major department requirements online next year (instead of taking an easy core requirement online), and fall 2008 means 18 hours (6 courses) when I'm already swamped with 16 hours this semester. YIKES.

I went to bed disappointed and frustrated because all I'll lack to graduate on time is 3 courses (9 hours). I planned to take care of all those this year (2 summer classes and one correspondence course during the fall added to my 15 normal hours during fall 2008).

During my devotion time this afternoon (part of the time, I'm reading through Psalms), I read Psalm 143. It's a psalm of David where he asks the Lord to hear his prayers. I immediately connected with David's plea and noticed one verse in particular:

Let me hear in the morning of Your steadfast love, for in You I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to You I lift up my soul. (Psalm 143:8)

These words were such an encouragement to me. I've asked God if it's His will for me to continue with two majors and I've asked Him to open the doors to the courses that I need to graduate on time. Despite my plans not going as I had hoped, I know His steadfast love and I do trust Him to provide what He wants for me, not what I want on my own. He is always faithful to direct me and listens to my cries for help.

Just thought this verse was particularly encouraging and so appropriate for how I've felt these past few weeks. Hope it blesses you and reminds you that God is always faithful to direct your path.

Passed up a perfectly good witnessing opportunity

Last night, I passed up a perfectly good witnessing opportunity, one that I have been praying (for several months now) that God would send me. I honestly can't believe it. When the opportunity presented itself, I consciously thought about what I could say and then didn't say it. 

I was helping a friend of mine study when she informed me that an older friend of hers had just committed suicide. I expressed my sympathy and asked her if she wanted to talk about it. She told me a little about it and noted that it was a very sad situation. He had lost his mother several years ago and hadn't been able to get over it. In his suicide note, he mentioned that he was going to be with her.

Wow, talk about an open door for witnessing! I could have immediately jumped in and asked her, "Was he a Christian?" Perhaps this wouldn't have been exactly the right question, but the door was open and I could have taken it down several different paths. I know that this girl may not be a Christian, despite her sweet, caring spirit. I could see that she was sad and that this death had shaken her. What better time to carefully and gently use the gospel message to bring her some hope?

I'm short on time and thus cannot go into detail, but needless to say, I didn't take advantage of the opportunity and I regret it immensely. Who am I to doubt God's plan and God's open door for me into this girl's life? Was I worried about how she would respond? If so, why? This is her salvation we're talking about, not how it makes me look or even how she handles the gospel message. It really seems like I'm too concerned about how I think she will handle my message instead of thinking with an eternal perspective. What if she really isn't a Christian? I just wasted an open door to witness to her and bring her hope during a difficult trial.

I'm praying that God would give me another opportunity with this precious friend. She graduates this summer and will be returning to her country, so my time is short. Will you join me in praying for another opportunity and ask that God would help me to be obedient and willing to go through the doors that He opens for me?

Heaven received a new angel today!

Earth lost one of the most godly, kind, and selfless men that I know today...but heaven has gained a wonderful new angel, and in that, I rejoice!

His name is Mr. Roy, and he has attended my home church since before I came (over fifteen years). He fell ill last week and went to be with the Lord today. For years, he patiently served his wife (who went to be with the Lord probably five or so years ago), as he wheeled her around their home, the church, and anywhere else they went. He stuck with her even as she lost her mind and forgot who he was. I know it couldn't have been easy, but he loved Ms. Billie until the very end!

Perhaps most memorably (at least to me), he served the children in the church for years by giving them candy (that he bought out of his own pocket) for YEARS. We're not talking about hanging out 20 pieces of candy to random children at church here. Every Sunday, Mr. Roy, aka "The Candy Man" parked himself (and in more recent years, his walker) in the same spot in the church hall after Sunday School. Children of all ages come every Sunday and hold our their hands as he carefully places candy in each palm. The chorus of "thank-yous" is sweet to hear, but perhaps sweetest of all is watching Mr. Roy's gentle face smile and gently murmur, "You're welcome."

In serving the children of the church, Mr. Roy has served the youth and the college students of the church as well. When I first came to my church, I was one of the children who crowded around Mr. Roy for candy. While he would still give us candy no matter how old we got, he ministered to the older kids by writing us letters on our birthdays, holidays, and graduations. Receiving a letter from Mr. Roy on a birthday or holiday was a treat. I still remember holding up the plain white sheets of paper with an elderly man's scrawled but beautiful handwriting. He always included several verses and a meditation or devotion of those verses. He closed saying he was always praying for you and thinking about you (and you KNEW that he was!) and signed his letters, "Your friend, Roy N."

The last letter I received from Mr. Roy was during my freshman year of college on my 19th birthday. I almost couldn't believe that he had taken the time to hand write a letter, share his wisdom, find out my college address, write everything down, and have it mailed. I still remember standing in the MSU post office with tears in my eyes, clutching the letter and thanking God for this beautiful, selfless man that had been such a blessing and picture of Christ in my life over the years.

Riveroaks (my home church) will not be the same without Mr. Roy. There will be several voids: his walker missing from the hall, the crowd of children clustering around his "spot" by the church library, his seat at the end of one of the left side middle pews in the sanctuary, and of course, Mr. Roy himself.

Mr. Roy knew what it was to serve and he didn't seek any glory in doing so. Whether it be watching him minister to others, listening to his frail voice as he shared his wisdom during a Sunday class, smiling as he took a toddler or a baby for a "wild ride" on his walker/chair, reading his letters, listening to his deep yet trembling voice as he sang the hymns at church, or watching him hand candy to children, it is so evident that he built his life and his hope upon the firm rock of Jesus Christ.

I know that the angels rejoiced today when he joined them and I know that he is certainly rejoicing with them even now!

My hope is built on nothing less

Than Jesus’s blood and righteousness.

I dare not trust the sweetest frame,

But wholly lean on Jesus’s Name.
On Christ the solid Rock I stand,

All other ground is sinking sand;

All other ground is sinking sand.

When darkness veils His lovely face,

I rest on His unchanging grace.

In every high and stormy gale,

My anchor holds within the veil.
On Christ the solid Rock I stand,

All other ground is sinking sand;

All other ground is sinking sand.

His oath, His covenant, His blood,

Support me in the whelming flood.

When all around my soul gives way,

He then is all my Hope and Stay.
On Christ the solid Rock I stand,

All other ground is sinking sand;

All other ground is sinking sand.

When He shall come with trumpet sound,

Oh may I then in Him be found.

Dressed in His righteousness alone,

Faultless to stand before the throne.
On Christ the solid Rock I stand,

All other ground is sinking sand;

All other ground is sinking sand.
-Words by Edward Mote, circa 1843

"My grace is sufficient for you..."

"To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (emphasis added) Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 

- II Corinthians 12:7-10

These past few weeks have probably been the busiest weeks of my life. I have never experienced such a heavy workload with courses, meetings, papers, sickness, assignments, articles, and other matters...nor have I gone this long on so little sleep! (I'm averaging a bedtime around 2:30 and getting up around 7:45, and no, I don't recommend it!) My time with the Lord has greatly suffered (especially my morning quiet times), but I have found that in this time of utter chaos, I'm longing to spend time with the Lord. While my time in the Word is lacking (which I'm working on), I'm spending time in prayer...why? because I see that I need Him. I know that I cannot make it through a day, much less a week or a month, without crying out to my Heavenly Father. It is in times of chaos, confusion, and trouble that I turn to God (although it should be at all times). Despite how hard these past few weeks have been (and will continue to be), I'm so thankful that God is using all of this to draw me to Himself and call me to trust on Him for my strength.

As I made my to-do list tonight, I was immediatly overwhelmed and thought, "How in the world am I going to finish everything?" The passage from II Corinthians came to my mind. While Paul's speaking about a thorn in the flesh, perhaps chaos and business is my thorn right now. God has called me to be faithful, to work hard, and not to back down from what He has called me to do (and as I keep reminding myself, right now, He's called me to be a student!). No matter how I overwhelmed or inadequate I feel, I KNOW that He is there sustaining me and guiding my footsteps. 

It seems that most of my friends are in the middle of chaos, confusion, pain, or just overall crazy/busy semesters. Let II Corinthians 12:7-10 be an encouragement to us and a reminder to rest in Him and not what we can do. His power is made perfect in our weaknesses and He has promised to never leave us nor forsake us! (Deut. 31:8)

Am I really reaching out to others?

I'm part of RUF (Reformed University Fellowship) here at MSU. It's a campus ministry that was started by the PCA (Presbyterian Church in America) and I love it dearly. I'm on the core group (a sort of leadership/feedback/accountability team) for it and we meet once a week to discuss the ministry, plan events, give feedback on how things are going, have a Bible study, pray for RUF and each other, along with other things.

One of our reoccuring prayer requests is that we would reach out to our school community and that God would bring more students into the ministry. During the core group meeting on Monday, our campus minister took this request a step further. He asked each of us to think of four or five students, pray for those students, and ask those students to attend RUF. He said if this was difficult for us to do, it was due to two things: one, we don't really like RUF enough to ask people to come with us; or two, we don't have any friends outside of RUF.

I was struck by how long it took me to think of four or five names. (Granted, probably 90 percent of my friends are through RUF, but I still have many friends---both Christians and non-Christians---that are not involved in a campus ministry.) I would think of someone and then immediately write them off by saying, "They're not interested in Christianity" or "I don't know them well enough" or "They've got another meeting on Thursday nights" or "I'm not sure what they'll think of me when I ask"...the list goes on.

Then it hit me---God sent His only Son to die for the sins of His people so that we might be saved, thus enabled to have communion and fellowship with Him and have everlasting life through His atoning sacrifice. God sent His only Son to die for me and to save me. Don't I want others to have that salvation? Shouldn't I be telling everyone I meet about that salvation? Am I really so concerned about what people will think of me that I'm unwilling to ask them to a campus ministry when I should be concerned about their salvation? This is not about me; this is about what God has done. This is a matter of life or death---without salvation, these people are going to perish. Do I care so much about my appearance to others that I don't care about asking people to a ministry that God could use to bring them salvation?

I also need to be concerned about those of my friends that are Christians but aren't plugged into a church and/or a campus ministry (a side note: I recommend both! RUF isn't a substitute for church!). God commands us in the Bible to be in close fellowship with fellow believers and to spend time studying the Word, praying with and for one another, and teaching and encouraging one another. That's not something you can do all by yourself; you need a community where the Bible is studied and preached, where confession of sin occurs, where prayer occurs, where mercy ministries are practiced, where sacraments are observed (church), and where believers can lift one another up and challenge one another in the Lord.

One of my greatest desires for RUF is that it would expand and truly reach out to those who are lost, hurting, and searching. If that really is my desire, my list should have been filled instantly after Nathan asked his question. I should have pulled out my phone immediately after core group to call friends, talking to classmates in between classes, and visiting with my neighbors in the dorm, keeping the issue of their salvation close in mind. 

So, here's my list. I've changed the names so that no one will recognize anyone but I've posted it here to publically remind me of this goal. It isn't complete, but it's a start. This is not a judgment list; this is what each of these individuals has either told me or what I have gathered from knowing them:

1. Katie (put-off with the churches and ministries)

2. Cam (simply needs Jesus in his life and is willing to come when someone asks him)

3. Mary (needs godly friends in her life)

4. Vicky (foreign student who says religion is not important or relevant in her country; again, needs Jesus!)

5. Laney (needs to be plugged in to a Christian community, specifically one that provides Biblical teaching, not just Christian friends)

6. Megan (desires to be consistent with one campus ministry and wants/needs to be involved)

7. Terri (foreign student who has already gone through some hard things this semester and is searching)

8. John (needs to get reconnected in a Christian community and desparately needs godly friends to challenge him to stay faithful)

When will Roe vs. Wade be overturned? (and other related questions for God)

Today---a wet, cold, and overall dreary day here at MSU---marks the 35th anniversary of Roe vs. Wade. (I feel that the horrible weather here is appropriate considering the day's anniversary.) I was encouraged (sort of) to see some articles about it this morning on some news websites, but mostly discouraged once I began to read them. It's discouraging to see that so many people don't stop to think about the issue and flat out deny the fact that human life begins in the womb.

Roe vs. Wade is a very personal issue for me because I am adopted. While my birthmom has told me that she never considered abortion, it really is always an option, whether one considers it or not. It shouldn't be an option. It shouldn't be a choice. As the somewhat-cliche' bumper sticker reads, "It's a child, not a choice."

I wish I could better express how strongly I feel about being pro-life. I have struggled for years to express what it means to me and I'm convinced that I'll never get it all right. If it doesn't affect you like it does me, I just may not be able to put it into words so that you can understand.

I spoke at my church this past Sunday because it was Sanctity of Life Sunday. I've included my transcript below just because some people ask me to tell my story and simply because I want as many people as possible to read my story. Maybe it will make someone think.

This subject matter moves me to tears (and I am not one to cry). As I sat at the Memphis-area Walk for Life on Sunday (these walks are held across the nation---they include a program with a speaker and then a walk to a local abortion clinic/Planned Parenthood clinic with singing and prayer), I couldn't look at the women who carried roses in memorial of their aborted children. I couldn't open my mouth to sing "God Bless America" as the crowd filed out of the church and onto the street. I certainly couldn't hold back my tears (and even now as I type, my tears are falling once again!) How in the world was I supposed to be singing and asking God to bless America after all this nation has done against him, especially the abortions? Why should I ask him to bless our nation? Is she the land that I love? If so, how can I love a land that aborted 1.2 million babies in 2005? (It is hard to get an exact number, but somewhere between 40-50 million babies have been aborted since Roe vs. Wade in 1973.)

I was so disturbed Sunday that I told my parents I couldn't go to the walk portion of the program. We drove home in almost silence. When my mom asked me what made me so sad, I broke into tears again and wrongly said, "I don't know." I do know. I was upset over the millions of lives lost in a horrific, painful, and dehumanizing manner. I was angry with God for allowing it to continue. I was in disbelief over the doctors and nurses who perform these abortions. I was frightened by the fact that "it could have been me." I was hurting for the women carrying red roses, symbolizing a child they had aborted. I was in disbelief at the denial of our culture and our nation over these issues. I was mourning for the children who were never given a chance at life. I was saddened for the mothers who have lost and those who will lose their children to abortion without truly understanding what they have done/are doing/will do. And I was deeply saddened for those couples who long for just one child. There are so many couples who yearn for a child of their own and yet there are so many abortions each year. It's truly awful.

Nevertheless, God hasn't called me to live in despair and He hasn't called me to stay bottled up and be angry with the U.S. He's called me to reach out into the darkness and gently but boldly spread the truth. Do I know when Roe vs. Wade will be overturned? No, but my God does. All I have to rest in is that He is always faithful and has a purpose in all things, no matter how horrible the situation may seem. I have absolutely no idea why He would allow something as horrendous as abortion to continue, but I know that He has a plan for EVERYTHING and it is far greater than I could ever comprehend.

Here is Sunday's transcript. If anyone wants to know anything else, please just ask. I usually share a lot more of the details than this but decided not to do so in front of my whole church and on the Internet:

This morning, I would like to share with y’all a very brief glimpse into my background and hopefully encourage each of you to understand the value of each and every human life.

First, I would like to being with “my story.” I like to say that I when I tell “my story”, it’s not really “my story”; rather, it is God’s story---a story of His sovereign providence, unfathomable mercy, and unfailing love.

LC (abbreviated for privacy reasons), a local crisis pregnancy center, had just opened its doors not long before I was born. I was born in Memphis on October 22nd and went home November 19th as LC’s first official adoption.

I have always been taught that God works through all circumstances and that nothing happens by accident. As I look at my life today, I know that is true. I have grown up in a strong Christian home with parents and siblings who know and love Jesus Christ and challenge me to know and love Him alone. I am part of this church where I am surrounded by families who seek to serve and glorify the Lord in all aspects of life. I am now a sophomore at Mississippi State University where I am blessed to have not only an incredible RUF ministry and a solid church but also godly friends walking alongside me. I know that God has placed me exactly where He wants me with the family, church, and friends that He has planned for me. After 20 years of life, I can reflect on God’s words to Jeremiah in Jeremiah 29:11, where it says: “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” He has been so good to me!

My adoption has always been a platform for sharing the gospel because my physical adoption provides an easy lead into sharing about my spiritual adoption. In my physical adoption, my parents took me, someone who was not “like” them and wasn’t their “natural” child, into their home to be part of their family.

This is so much greater in a spiritual adoption! I can’t be holy, perfect, and righteous like God and His Son, Jesus, but yet God brought me into His family to become more like Him. My Heavenly Father sent His own natural Son to die on a cross for my sins so that I might become one of God’s adopted children. I am not a rejected stepchild in God’s family---I am one of His own, for He has called me and brought me into His family.

Some of you may be thinking, “Well, this is all a good and sweet story but I don’t really see how it relates to me.” It really does relate to you. If you belong to God, if you are one of His children, then you have been adopted into His family. As Christians, trusting and believing in what God has done for us, God has called each of us to bear witness to the world. He has called each of us to different vocations and has placed us in different locations in various walks of life for His purpose, but no matter where we are, He has called us to be salt and light in a world that so desperately needs to hear the truth. He has called us to show compassion to the hurting and to minister to those around us. He has called us to pray for the salvation of others and to be a hope in a broken world.

He has also called each of us to stand up boldly for what is right. In a world where society tells us that right and wrong is whatever you want to make them, this is a difficult task, but it is what our Father has called us to do. He doesn’t promise us that it will be easy and He doesn’t promise us that everyone will agree with us. In fact, the Bible tells us repeatedly that in standing for what is right, we will encounter much opposition.

Being pro-life certainly isn’t the popular view in our culture today. This past semester, I discovered how unpopular the idea is when I was one of 2 students in a class of 60 who stated that I opposed abortion in all circumstances. While there have been several significant changes in the last few years, including bans on certain kinds of abortions, we are far from ridding our country of abortion and we are far from changing the minds of most of the society.

I know that it can be hard to stand up for a cause that so many people see as vain and I know that it is hard to be criticized for your beliefs. But far more importantly, I know that God has called each of us to stand up and speak for those who cannot speak for themselves. I know that He has called each of us to remember what is right despite what society tells us to do. He hasn’t called us to follow crowd along the popular road; He’s called us to fight the good fight and to run the race down the straight and narrow path.

While this may sound discouraging to some of you, please know that it is not. God has promised us that our struggle is not in vain and reminds us that our hope is in Him. We may not be able to see it now, but He will complete the work that He has called us to do. He is always faithful to keep His promises and as believers, we know that He has a plan in all circumstances. As David said in Psalm 16:5-6, He holds our lots and has placed us in pleasant places with the beautiful inheritance of being part of His family. Let us not grow weary of standing up for what is right; rather, let us go forth eagerly and boldly proclaiming His truth in all aspects of life.