
The craziest "New Moon" poster I could find on Google Images within 30 seconds.
For the second time in a week, I'm publishing a story that I wrote and basically telling you to read it. Clearly, I have no shame...
This is a my final story for my feature writing class. (It's obviously a feature story, but it had to have some sort of newsworthy angle or trend aspect, so I kind of aimed for a combination of both.) I told a lot of people that I was writing it, and some of y'all wanted to see it, so enjoy. :) This is also the slightly-extended version (I had to cut it down to 835 words to meet my teacher's requirements.)
Thanks to all the friends who gave up a few minutes to do an interview. I couldn't have finished this story without y'all! (And yes, I did get everyone's permission to post this! I did take out first names so that it isn't the first thing that comes up if their names get Googled.)
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Looking over recent entertainment headlines, Twitter feeds and the magazines at the grocery checkout line, one thing is evident: With the release of “New Moon,” the “Twilight” craze has struck again. At first glance, it appears everyone’s obsessed with the series: E! Online reports middle-aged women have stolen cardboard cutouts of Taylor Lautner (Jacob) and Robert Pattinson (Edward) multiple times from Nordstrom and UK Mail Online says pale makeup sales are up 200 percent over the past month.
The craze has not hit everyone, though. While people across the nation, including college students, lined up for the midnight premiere of “New Moon,” not all were diehard, vampire-clad, Team Edward/Team Jacob screaming preteen girl fans.
J. Thomasson, senior computer science major, and S. Anderson, senior communication major, were two of a handful of males at the Malco Columbus’ premier. Neither one claims to be a “Twilight” fan, but both went to the premier with friends to people watch and try to understand the craze behind the series.
Anderson said he also went to heckle audience members, allowing his cell phone alarm to go off multiple times and faking phone calls during romantic scenes.
“I tried to play the part of the loud obnoxious guy … I’d just react to anything and everything in the movie with my unfiltered thoughts,” he said. “[When] I realized Edward was 109, I said aloud, ‘Does that mean he’s a 109-year-old virgin?’ The lady next to me said, ‘You’re not gonna talk throughout the whole movie, are you?’ I said, ‘This is just how I watch movies’ … Unfortunately, I didn’t piss off the whole bunch [the audience], just the people around me.”
Even though he has not read the books, Thomasson said he went to see the movie simply because he has friends who enjoy the series.
“Eventually, I felt guilty for making fun of something I hadn’t seen, so I went with three of my Twi-hard pals and saw it,” he said.
Thomasson, who said the crowd was at least 80 percent female, said he thinks part of the following behind “Twilight” is just girls who love slow-motion shots of Jacob and Edward shirtless.
“Ugh, it was ridiculous,” he said. “Every five seconds, a collective gasp would go up from the crowd: ‘Oh my gosh!’ The girls sitting down the row from me actually let out loud sexual moans on a number of occasions.”
Junior philosophy major B. Johnson said when she went to watch the film, there was ‘muffled excitement’ throughout the viewing, and the girls in the audience clearly preferred Jacob over Edward.
“There was no swooning when Edward was shirtless, probably because everyone was distracted by the fact that his left nipple was bigger than his right one,” she said with a laugh. “At least that’s what I noticed.”
Johnson, a fan of the books, said she thinks the first movie was not well done, but she was still excited about seeing “New Moon.” She doesn’t consider herself a vampire fan and said the series hasn’t made her more interested in vampire literature.
“[I’m] only interested in continuing to watch the ‘Twilight’ [movie] series unfold,” she said.
Having no intentions of ever seeing “New Moon,” H. Boswell, junior art major, said a friend dragged her into it.
“The whole movie just seems like a joke. I wasn’t entertained, and I’m very easily entertained,” Boswell said. “I just wanted to leave.”
Boswell said she could potentially understand the “Twilight” craze if the series really focused on vampires.
“I can understand that people like vampires, but this isn’t vampires,” she said.
Anderson also said watching the movie did not get him more interested in vampire fiction or movies.
“It’s become an odd frenzy-bandwagon thing,” he said. “I don’t really get it, but I officially know Hollywood can sex up anything and kids will buy it.”
Thomasson said “New Moon” strengthened his belief that decent vampire movies cannot exist.
“I have no fetish for vampires … and ‘New Moon’ just fueled my opinion that a ‘good’ vampire movie will never be made,” he said. “It is impossible.”
Junior operational meteorology major A. Cole said she thinks the attractiveness factor for the male actors is a primary reason for the “Twilight” following. Cole, who said she has watched and enjoyed other vampire movies, said “Twilight” doesn’t focus on the vampire aspect.
“I can definitely see why not only teenage girls but women would read or watch it — it’s a hormone rush,” she said.
During the movie, Cole said she struggled not to laugh out loud or make fun of other audience members.
“I laughed inside when I probably shouldn’t have,” she said. “I understood the risk of laughing [out loud] at the wrong time in a theater full of girls who would rip my head off.”
Friends have encouraged Anderson to read the books to gain a better understanding of the “Twilight” obsession, but he said he’s not sold.
“I’ve been told on several occasions that you have to read the books, that the movies make it cheesier than it should be; you know that kind of ‘can’t knock it till you try it’ mentality,” Anderson said. “There’s no way I'm wasting that kind of time. I mean, I don’t need to see another Keanu Reaves movie to know it’s gonna be crap.”
Boswell said the movie wasn’t worth seeing even if viewers just want to make fun of it, and she doesn’t understand the following behind the series.
“I thought our nation was going under when the Jonas Brothers came out, but this is way worse than that,” she said.
View the E! Online story that I cited here and read the UK Mail Online story here.
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