Praise God from Whom all blessings flow

I went to Starkville for 24 hours and enjoyed hanging out with my former roommate Annalissa at her new house. It was so encouraging to see her (and other dear friends), even if it was only a short while. This morning, six of us (the six girls staying at the house for that weekend) gathered around and Annalissa took scripture requests and read them out loud. This was mine:
"I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip—
He who watches over you will not slumber;
Indeed, He who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
The sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
The LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore."
- Psalm 121

I simply love this psalm. Susan Ashton recorded it a few years back (it's worth a listen - it helped me memorize the entire psalm very quickly!). This has been one of the psalms that I turn to over and over again. It is such a comfort and brings such peace to know that our Heavenly Father watches over us and keeps us safe.

The past 24 hours in Starkville were also bittersweet. I went there to celebrate the life of my friend Adam, who died in February. A friend of his threw a film festival in honor of him, and so about 100 or so of us crowded into Old Venice last night. We raised $435 for the hospital that helped Adam so much (he suffered from Crohn's disease), enjoyed looking at some of his photography, and laughed as we watched him on screen with some of his friends (they made a hilarious silent film about a man with no hands). It made me smile to watch him on screen being his goofy self. As the night progressed, I couldn't help but think about how much Adam would have enjoyed being there. As the night wrapped up, I went outside and talked to Adam's mom, where we found ourselves right next to a black Nissan truck — almost just like Adam's (except a little smaller). We both shared the same smile and got a little quiet — it reminded us of Adam. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him in some form or fashion. It was great to see everyone last night, and I know Adam would be happy that we had a good time watching the films, listening to the bands, and enjoying fellowship.

And for a quick rewind: I spent the last week of July in Atlanta for week two of RUF staff training. It was wonderful to see my fellow interns, meet some older interns (the cool second year kids!), and visit with campus ministers. Paul (my new campus minister) preached on Tuesday night at our worship service, and he is GREAT! I am so excited about being under his teaching this year. I loved the fellowship throughout the week, and the teaching and seminars were excellent. What an encouraging week with new, dear friends. I got to wrap it up with a quick trip the lake with some high school friends - also very fun. It was my last chance to hit the lake this summer, so I'm glad it finally happened!

And now back to last week: I got great news on Friday afternoon about my RUF internship — I am $1,003 away from reaching my "move to Murfreesboro" goal of 85%, which means I need $5,774 to be 100% fully funded. Praise the Lord! Thank you to all who have prayed for me and supported me. The Lord has been so gracious and faithful, and all of this has been from Him — not anything that I have done! Please join me in praying that the Lord will continue to provide and will be preparing me to move to Murfreesboro.

Adam

Preface: Almost four months ago, I lost my dear friend and coworker Adam Kazery. This post is way overdue — I’ve been working on it for two months and still can’t make it “perfect.” There’s just far too much to say about Adam! I’d love for you to read The Reflector's news story about him here and the editorial that our editor Kyle wrote here. I’d also love for you to read what April (the 2010-2011 Reflector editor) wrote here. This post is long, but it still doesn’t even begin to do him justice — trust me.

There are certain people I think about every day. Adam Kazery is one of those people. It’s amazing what little things make me think of him — the Spell Number app on my iPhone, a Radiohead song, breaking news stories, photography, big black trucks, any technology updates/gadgets, yellow Post-It notes, pianos, Sundays at 5 p.m., MSU maroon “Bully Bikes,” Naked Juice, and countless other things.

Adam’s dad asked us (those that worked with Adam at The Reflector) for stories about him. I feel like I have enough stories about Adam to write a book. With the help of The Reflector staff, I’d have enough for a series. All the “little things” I mentioned above have a story hidden in them:
-The Spell Number iPhone app: Adam installed this application on my phone for me. He used to send the funniest text messages with these hilarious emoticons and icons. When I couldn’t get the application to work correctly, he took my phone and figured it out (all within a span of about 30 seconds…of course. He was a genius with anything.)
-Radiohead songs: Adam loved Radiohead, and the Radiohead bear (see the image above). He had it on his desk at work, on a vanity plate on his truck, as his Facebook profile image, as his iPhone background, everywhere. He even stamped a bunch of one dollar bills with the bear symbol and gave me seven of them saying, “I want these to end up in all 50 states. See how many places you can spend them.” (For the record, I got them into four states: Mississippi, Tennessee, Alabama and Arkansas — now, I’d do anything to have one back.) After his death, our Chief Designer Carl created a Radiohead bear badge that ran next to the dateline on all our front pages for the rest of the semester — a small tribute to Adam. I’ll forever associate the Radiohead bear with Adam.
-Breaking news stories: Whenever something big happened, Adam knew about it. If it was in Starkville, Adam was on it immediately. One of my last story memories with him was following up on a rumor about a rape in town. Adam drove me to the jail, sat with me as we waited to view the jail log, and almost had to help me sweet-talk the officer into letting me view the log (since it was past viewing hours).
-Photography: If anything big happened, Adam was there with a notepad and a camera. We never had to call him and ask him, he just jumped right into the action. He also took amazing candid shots and won journalism awards for his photography. (You can see some of his work here.)
-Big black trucks: Adam drove a big black Nissan truck. He never wanted anyone to walk home after work, so if anyone stayed later than he did at the office, he took them home. I can’t even begin to count how many nights Adam kept me from walking to my apartment!
-Technology updates: I’ll never forget telling Adam, “Hey, Verizon called me. They offered us a free advance trial of two Android phones. Would you be up for playing with them for a week and writing a story?” He was so excited —he looked like a little kid on Christmas morning! He had a great time playing with the phones and learning everything about them (of course, he had already researched them and knew all about them before he picked them up for the trial). His story was great and still remains as one of the top-read Reflector stories of all time. (You can read it by clicking here.) That’s just one of a million stories I could tell about him and technology…seriously. He was an Apple guru and loved anything related to Macs. I’d love to ask him what he thinks about the new iPhone.
-Yellow Post-It notes: Adam was great about writing little encouraging or funny notes to people in the Reflector office. He’d write a brief message on our yellow Post-It notes and stick one on your computer screen when you weren’t looking. They were simple and yet encouraging. I’ve saved mine and will treasure them. His last one to me: “Aubra, Keep being awesome. Adam.”
-Pianos: Adam played piano, even though he didn’t tell a lot of people about it. During he last semester, he was taking a piano class. He played by ear and told me he wanted to take the class to learn how to read music. I told him he was truly lucky and gifted to be able to play by ear. He shrugged and said, “Yeah, but I want to be better, and reading music will make me better.” Typical Adam — always looking for a way to improve!
-Sundays at 5 p.m.: The Reflector editorial board had meetings every Sunday at 5 p.m. Often times, many of us were late. Adam was always prompt and we could always count on him being there. We weren’t always happy about coming back to work after the weekend, but Adam was there with a smile ready to get back to work. He was quiet during meetings, but never ceased to keep us entertained. He loved sending funny texts to us to make one of us laugh and also loved taking candid photos of us and posting them to his Twitter account.
-MSU maroon “Bully Bikes:” Adam loved his vintage bike, but he always found something goofy to do with MSU’s Bully Bikes — like the night that he found one on campus and rode around on it in the Reflector office to make everyone laugh.
-Naked Juice: Occasionally, Adam would show up to work after class with a treat from the State Fountain Bakery and a bottle of Naked Juice. I loved Naked Juice and hated it when the bakery stopped selling them on campus. Adam made my day once by telling me, “Hey, you do you I’m buying these from that new store inside the Union, right? Let me go get you one.”

Though I still miss him, this week was the first week that I didn’t shed tears, bite my lip or freeze when I heard his name. Two weeks ago at Target, I smiled through my tears as I heard a young mom gently say, “Adam, please stop playing in the clothes rack and come here,” to her skinny, grinning, adorable 6-year-old son. One week ago, I swallowed and let a tear fall on the phone when the Census Bureau dispatcher said, “Thank you for returning our call, Ms. Whitten. My name is Adam and I’ll be asking you some questions today.” This week during my new intern training for RUF, a fellow intern turned to me and said, “Hi, I don’t think we’ve met. My name is Adam.” Without any hesitation or tears, I immediately smiled and extended my hand. “Adam, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Aubra.”

I don’t know exactly why it finally “clicked” this week, but I’m thankful. I’m not a tearful person, and I know Adam wouldn’t want tears or sorrow from anyone. He’d be glad that I smiled with genuine joy at meeting another Adam this week. (Don’t worry, Adam. No one’s ever going to replace you — I promise!)

He’s far from being forgotten by any of us. I do still occasionally start to text him when I hear a rumor about a new Apple product. He was the second number I dialed in late April when a fire broke out at my complex. (Had he been around, he and his camera would have been there in five minutes!) In March and April, I sometimes had problems at 4:50 a.m. while doing the website; my first thought was immediately to call or e-mail Adam. I don’t dwell on those dark, sleepless, draining February days anymore — I smile when I remember him and still laugh when I read our text messages and Facebook posts to each other.

Throughout this whole ordeal, I came to appreciate Adam more. I knew he was amazingly gifted and talented, but I didn’t know just how gifted and talented he was. At his visitation, I listened as friends shared about his many gifts, ranging from skateboarding to piano to graphic design. When Kyle and I were forced to quickly pick up the Reflector website duties, we learned what a genius and mastermind Adam was with our site — we ran our site through a publishing platform, but Adam had skillfully modified parts of it and created custom HTML code to help the site work and look better. He was humble and quiet — he never told any of us that he created custom codes or reedited our works to make them optimal for online purposes. He did all of that without asking because as he once told Kyle, “I just want it to look good.” Kyle and I initially struggled with the website, especially during the first night without Adam, but we got it working. (I know he’d be so proud of us for figuring out how to activate the site and how to modify the HTML code to keep everything running properly!)

Adam was an incredibly hard worker. I knew this, but I didn’t fully recognize it until I became Managing Editor. As Online Editor, Adam was the last one out on production nights — he stayed later than me most productions nights! He graciously put up with the staff’s procrastination, last minute changes and crazy HTML issues. He never complained about being the last one out of the office, nor did he complain about waking up at 4:50 a.m. twice a week to activate the website. (That’s another example of his humility: until I mentioned the early morning aspect at our end of the year banquet, his own mother didn’t know that he had been getting up at 4:50 — he never complained about it, even to her!) When someone else didn’t do his or her work, we sent Adam to do it — and he always did a great job. Adam saved us on countless occasions. He had a great eye for page design, knew AP Style, re-edited photos, fixed bugs on the pages, created house ads at the last minute and caught countless errors. When Kyle asked me in January who I thought should get the Editor of the Year award at our annual banquet, I immediately said, “Adam. He’s saved us so many times, and he never takes credit for it. It should absolutely go to Adam.”

Adam was funny and knew how to make your day. One of his responsibilities was to lay out and run the bulletin board/ads page. As Managing Editor, I had to proofread and edit all the pages for every paper. One night, I was really behind on editing pages and Adam knew I was in bad mood. He came up and slipped his page to the back of my stack of pages saying, “Just read it when you have a chance. I’ll wait.” I finally got to his page and broke into laughter. He had changed the whole page into Russian! I looked over to see him grinning at his desk. “You needed to laugh,” he explained with a grin. “And don’t worry — I didn’t save it in Russian. I’ve got an English version for you right here.” I could tell stories for hours about how he made us laugh!

Adam constantly thought of others. He knew when one of us was having a bad day, and he did whatever he could to cheer us up. He’d bring you a treat from the bakery, leave a Post-It note on your computer monitor, or simply come by your desk and say, “Do you need anything? Let me go get you something to eat.” (In fact, the day that he went missing, I had brought $6 to work because I owed him for buying of us Abner’s on a particularly crazy production night.)

After the almost 24-hour period from Adam going “missing” to finding out what happened, I remember sitting at my desk waiting for Kyle’s phone call. I’ll never forget the tone of his voice. I’ll never forget my fellow editors staring at me as I clung to my phone. I’ll never forget standing the middle of the newsroom, clutching my desk counter and delivering the worst news I’ve ever given. I'll never forget calling former editors and writers as I re-delivered that terrible message over and over again. I’ll never forget holding another editor tightly, watching tears run down her cheeks as I wondered, “We’ll never be able to replace Adam. How in the world will we ever make it without him?”

In the midst of intense sorrow and pain, God reminded me of His sovereignty and providence, whether in the form of text messages, scripture, hugs, phone calls or food dropped off at the office. Within an hour of telling my newsroom staff, I had friends text me saying, “I love you. I’m praying for you and the staff” and “I love you. I know it’s production night. Hang in there. Can I bring y’all dinner?” Though there were many scripture passages that spoke to me, especially during the first few weeks, I found one passage that I hadn’t really noticed before (and yes, I know the verses are out of order — I kind of took rearranging liberties):
“When I thought, ‘My foot slips,’ your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up. When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul … If the Lord had not been my help, my soul would have lived in the land of silence … But the Lord has become my stronghold, and my God the rock of my refuge.” (Psalm 94:18-19, 17, 22)

I won’t say that I know why God allowed everything to happen this semester. I’m not God — I’m human and will never understand His plans fully this side of heaven. I do rejoice in the fact that the Lord is gracious and compassionate and has brought healing and restoration — and He promises that He will continue to do so, never forsaking those that He loves.

I’m thankful that I have so many great memories of Adam. I’m thankful for how despite a hard situation, I bonded with my dear coworkers and Reflector family. I’m thankful for a great advisor who forgot about herself, going above and beyond the call of duty to check on us and watch over us. I’m incredibly thankful for Adam’s amazing family, who has been such an encouragement and inspiration to all of us. I hope that someday they will know how the Lord has used them to bring each of us much hope and healing. Above all, I’m thankful that I have a God who knows exactly what He’s doing and uses all things, even hard situations, to glorify Him. I can’t wait until the day when I can finally see and understand His plans and reasons for this last semester. Until that day, I’m going to wait patiently.

(Oh, I think I’m going to find a Radiohead bear sticker to put on my car. I know Adam would definitely approve.)

Mini review

Scroll down to "April" in this post to see what this photo's all about. (And I'm sorry it's so tiny — Blogger keeps compressing it.)

I shouldn't be updating right now, but I just looked over my blog and realized I haven't posted since January. (YIKES! That's terrible, especially for a journalism student.) It is definitely an indication of how crazy this semester has been for me — I honestly did not anticipate this semester being crazy. I knew I would be busy looking for work and facing graduation, but since I only had four classes, I figured work would be my main time-consumer (and it certainly was, but there were lots of other things...). Here's a quick run-down of my semester, and I promise that more will be coming!

January:
-Started the last semester of my senior year at Mississippi State University with four classes: Elements of Persuasion, Writing for the Media (both of those are upper-level communication courses, which is all I need to graduate), Civil Liberties/Constitutional Law and Classical Mythology (which are two classes to keep me a full-time student). I quickly realize I'm not thrilled about my communication classes, and at least three classes are going to be much harder than I anticipated...so much for an easy last semester.
-Continued as Managing Editor at The Reflector. We had a huge staff changeover in December (our editor in chief resigned, sports and entertainment editors and several senior staff writers graduated). First month wasn't bad at all, once we all got used to new people in the office.
-Prepared to take my second LSAT.
-Turned in my paperwork to be considered for the RUF internship.

February:
-Already feeling a little senioritis...and realizing it's way too early to be feeling that.
-Took my second LSAT, which was much easier than the first LSAT in December. Unfortunately, we had a lot of problems with our proctor (including being shorted on time in one section and being interrupted numerous times). I figured this might affect my score, so I went ahead and filed an irregularity report...which meant that LSAC delayed my score for three extra weeks. Not exactly what I was hoping for since I was already entering the law school game a little late.
-Had my world absolutely ripped from under me when I lost my good friend and coworker Adam. (I plan to devote a whole blog entry to this topic sometime soon, but I need a while to write it so that I do it justice.) Without going into detail, it was an extremely traumatic situation, and I was the one who had to break the news to our newsroom crew. I never want to see the looks that I saw on their faces that day ever again. It was truly one of the darkest days of my life, and just one of those times where no matter how I cried out to the Lord, I didn't know how anything good would come about through this situation. Although I'm still struggling with all of us and still miss Adam terribly, I am thankful for how it brought our newsroom together. I knew I worked with talented, funny, smart people, but when all of this happened, it really bonded us all together and we started to get past the surface with each other. I have the utmost respect for our crew and I'm glad we were all in it together.

March:
-Got my LSAT score back and went up five points, despite the crazy testing circumstances! Finished off my law school applications to UT Knoxville, Ole Miss and University of Memphis.
-Went before the RUF South committee to be interviewed for an RUF intern position. I passed, and waited anxiously for my assignment...
-Had a GREAT roadtrip across my homestate (by myself!) during spring break. Those of you who know me even just a little bit know that I'm terrible with directions. Mom gave me a Garmin unit for Christmas, and that little thing has empowered me! Love it. I won't be scared of getting lost anymore. I visited my sister and Belmont RUF in Nashville for a day, drove to Chattanooga to see dear friends from church (got to see Bryan College and then spent the night at Covenant College in Lookout Mountain, Georgia), drove to Knoxville to visit the law school and hang out with friends from church and high school for two days.
-Started dating a boy...and yep, that's all I'm telling you for right now. :)
-Heard back from RUF — my internship assignment is MTSU! I don't think I could have been more excited. I wanted to go back to my home state and be close to Nashville, but I never dreamed they would actually place me there.

April:
-School is really in full swing and crazy. Oh boy.
-We had TWO apartment fires in a span of about two weeks, including one at my complex! My building wasn't affected (although it still smells like smoke), but several of my friends lost everything they owned. I just so happened to be on my way to church when I saw a cloud of smoke — like I told another newspaper editor, "I turned right back around, put my Bible down and grabbed my camera." You can read my fire story here and see the Facebook album of fire photos here. What a crazy day. I am so thankful that the Lord spared every life in those two buildings that day!
-I finished my job as Managing Editor at The Reflector. It's been a good four years there, but I am ready for a break from the newsroom. I've been in and out helping the new staff, and I've stayed on as a writer and spot photographer, but no more eidtor position. :)
-I've started raising support for my RUF internship! Be expecting to see a lot more posts about that very soon.
-School's killing me. I'm having a hard time focusing (two papers, one presentation, some reading, four exams and one honors thesis project away from graduating) — I graduate in 9 days! Please pray for perseverance.

MSU students weigh in on "Twilight" craze

The craziest "New Moon" poster I could find on Google Images within 30 seconds.

For the second time in a week, I'm publishing a story that I wrote and basically telling you to read it. Clearly, I have no shame...

This is a my final story for my feature writing class. (It's obviously a feature story, but it had to have some sort of newsworthy angle or trend aspect, so I kind of aimed for a combination of both.) I told a lot of people that I was writing it, and some of y'all wanted to see it, so enjoy. :) This is also the slightly-extended version (I had to cut it down to 835 words to meet my teacher's requirements.)

Thanks to all the friends who gave up a few minutes to do an interview. I couldn't have finished this story without y'all! (And yes, I did get everyone's permission to post this! I did take out first names so that it isn't the first thing that comes up if their names get Googled.)

--
Looking over recent entertainment headlines, Twitter feeds and the magazines at the grocery checkout line, one thing is evident: With the release of “New Moon,” the “Twilight” craze has struck again. At first glance, it appears everyone’s obsessed with the series: E! Online reports middle-aged women have stolen cardboard cutouts of Taylor Lautner (Jacob) and Robert Pattinson (Edward) multiple times from Nordstrom and UK Mail Online says pale makeup sales are up 200 percent over the past month.

The craze has not hit everyone, though. While people across the nation, including college students, lined up for the midnight premiere of “New Moon,” not all were diehard, vampire-clad, Team Edward/Team Jacob screaming preteen girl fans.

J. Thomasson, senior computer science major, and S. Anderson, senior communication major, were two of a handful of males at the Malco Columbus’ premier. Neither one claims to be a “Twilight” fan, but both went to the premier with friends to people watch and try to understand the craze behind the series.

Anderson said he also went to heckle audience members, allowing his cell phone alarm to go off multiple times and faking phone calls during romantic scenes.

“I tried to play the part of the loud obnoxious guy … I’d just react to anything and everything in the movie with my unfiltered thoughts,” he said. “[When] I realized Edward was 109, I said aloud, ‘Does that mean he’s a 109-year-old virgin?’ The lady next to me said, ‘You’re not gonna talk throughout the whole movie, are you?’ I said, ‘This is just how I watch movies’ … Unfortunately, I didn’t piss off the whole bunch [the audience], just the people around me.”

Even though he has not read the books, Thomasson said he went to see the movie simply because he has friends who enjoy the series.

“Eventually, I felt guilty for making fun of something I hadn’t seen, so I went with three of my Twi-hard pals and saw it,” he said.

Thomasson, who said the crowd was at least 80 percent female, said he thinks part of the following behind “Twilight” is just girls who love slow-motion shots of Jacob and Edward shirtless.

“Ugh, it was ridiculous,” he said. “Every five seconds, a collective gasp would go up from the crowd: ‘Oh my gosh!’ The girls sitting down the row from me actually let out loud sexual moans on a number of occasions.”

Junior philosophy major B. Johnson said when she went to watch the film, there was ‘muffled excitement’ throughout the viewing, and the girls in the audience clearly preferred Jacob over Edward.

“There was no swooning when Edward was shirtless, probably because everyone was distracted by the fact that his left nipple was bigger than his right one,” she said with a laugh. “At least that’s what I noticed.”

Johnson, a fan of the books, said she thinks the first movie was not well done, but she was still excited about seeing “New Moon.” She doesn’t consider herself a vampire fan and said the series hasn’t made her more interested in vampire literature.

“[I’m] only interested in continuing to watch the ‘Twilight’ [movie] series unfold,” she said.

Having no intentions of ever seeing “New Moon,” H. Boswell, junior art major, said a friend dragged her into it.

“The whole movie just seems like a joke. I wasn’t entertained, and I’m very easily entertained,” Boswell said. “I just wanted to leave.”

Boswell said she could potentially understand the “Twilight” craze if the series really focused on vampires.

“I can understand that people like vampires, but this isn’t vampires,” she said.

Anderson also said watching the movie did not get him more interested in vampire fiction or movies.

“It’s become an odd frenzy-bandwagon thing,” he said. “I don’t really get it, but I officially know Hollywood can sex up anything and kids will buy it.”

Thomasson said “New Moon” strengthened his belief that decent vampire movies cannot exist.

“I have no fetish for vampires … and ‘New Moon’ just fueled my opinion that a ‘good’ vampire movie will never be made,” he said. “It is impossible.”

Junior operational meteorology major A. Cole said she thinks the attractiveness factor for the male actors is a primary reason for the “Twilight” following. Cole, who said she has watched and enjoyed other vampire movies, said “Twilight” doesn’t focus on the vampire aspect.

“I can definitely see why not only teenage girls but women would read or watch it — it’s a hormone rush,” she said.

During the movie, Cole said she struggled not to laugh out loud or make fun of other audience members.

“I laughed inside when I probably shouldn’t have,” she said. “I understood the risk of laughing [out loud] at the wrong time in a theater full of girls who would rip my head off.”

Friends have encouraged Anderson to read the books to gain a better understanding of the “Twilight” obsession, but he said he’s not sold.

“I’ve been told on several occasions that you have to read the books, that the movies make it cheesier than it should be; you know that kind of ‘can’t knock it till you try it’ mentality,” Anderson said. “There’s no way I'm wasting that kind of time. I mean, I don’t need to see another Keanu Reaves movie to know it’s gonna be crap.”

Boswell said the movie wasn’t worth seeing even if viewers just want to make fun of it, and she doesn’t understand the following behind the series.

“I thought our nation was going under when the Jonas Brothers came out, but this is way worse than that,” she said.

View the E! Online story that I cited here and read the UK Mail Online story here.

A bunch of nothing

I want to blog, but I don't really have much to blog about. (That's a disclaimer for those of you who continue to read this post.)

Had a great weekend in Nashville with my family and close friends. I went to cheer on the Belmont Bruins soccer team (they won their game 9-0), the ECS Eagles cross country team (they also did well, considering the course was an absolute mud hole), and the Mississippi State Bulldogs (beat Vandy at Vandy! Our first SEC away game win since October 2007 - sad, I know). It was a crazy busy weekend, and I look forward to going back up to Nashville again for part of fall break and having more time to chat with the family...and shop. :)

Oh, possible highlight of my day (it's sad when something like this is your highlight): I successfully took my procrastination abilities to a new level today. With just under an hour of time, I was able to write an 800 word story (well, rough draft of the story) for my feature writing class. I've already announced this via Facebook, so if my sweet teacher sees it, well, so be it. :) I didn't say it was perfect or great, but that's what rough drafts are for, right? We'll see how well it went over when I get the grade back...

As of yet, it hasn't rained today here in Starkville! It has rained for about a solid week and is supposed to keep raining through Friday. It's been cloudy all day until a few minutes ago - it's nice to see blue skies and the sun. I think I'm going to head outside for a bit and enjoy the weather (while studying for the GRE - boo).

Remember where you were eight years ago?

I do.

I was at home with my mom, sister, and brother. I was in eighth grade, and the three of us were home schooled. I had just finished some algebra work and had headed downstairs to attempt a science project with my siblings. I don't remember the project, but I do remember that it bubbled over and wasn't working right. As Mom searched the book trying to figure out what we had done wrong, the phone rang (home phone - I don't even think we had a cell phone at that time). Normally, Mom didn't answer much during school hours, but she did that day. It was Ms. Jill, a close friend of my mom's and at the time, my brother's soccer coach who worked at a local private school.

"Carrie, turn on the news."

"Jill, we're..."

"Carrie, turn on the news."

Ms. Jill knew we rarely had the news on and also knew we wouldn't have anything on or be in the car for several hours since we were at home working on school work. She had the presence of mind to call my Mom so that we would know what was happening.

I'm not sure exactly what Ms. Jill told my mom, but it made her move. I've seen my mom run on very few occasions, and this was one of those times. She bolted from the kitchen into the den, jabbing at the TV's power button frantically. Hearing the seriousness in Mom's tone, the three of us followed her in.

The first channel wasn't showing much, but the voices of the news anchors were grave. It was too silent. The camera only showed billowing smoke from a building.

Mom flipped the channel again, still on the phone, asking questions. As she changed the channel, I witnessed what I hope will be the most horrific thing I will ever have to see: a plane flying into one of the Twin Towers. We flipped channels again and saw the news about the Pentagon.

"We have family there," one of us murmured.

I don't know how long we sat there, confused, dazed, pulling out encyclopedias to look up the buildings and what they housed. I don't know how many faces of the dead, injured, and other victims I saw that day. I know that as long as I live, I never want to see something like that again.

Mom got off the phone with Ms. Jill and called Dad at work, telling him to turn on the old black and white TV at his store. For a few minutes, time froze as we gazed at the TV, stunned. We forgot about the failed science project bubbling and dripping all over the kitchen sink. We forgot about our math work. We forgot about reading. Mom began to make phone calls to see if our family and friends in the DC area were okay. Although it took hours, we eventually heard back from everyone, and we thanked the Lord that we had not lost any loved ones.

We spent a lot of time in prayer and the Word that day. I remember getting chills as we watched footage and I remember Mom eventually turning it off. It still didn't keep me from getting scared and those images still haunt me.

As I walked to campus this morning, took my quiz, then walked to work, I walked across MSU's Drill Field. My memories of 9/11/01 came flooding back as I came face to face with our flag at half mast. The Drill Field was silent, the sky was overcast, and the fly drooped - no wind, no movement. I stopped and stood for a moment, reflecting and trying to gather my thoughts.

I don't care how old I get or how many years go by - I don't think I'll ever be able to forget September 11th or stop the memories that come rushing back with it.